A
female
age
26-29,
*carlett101
writes:What is wrong with me? Before me and my ex broke up or he left after HE cheated 7 months ago I care less and less of how I look sure I go to the gym but I make zero effort to look good. Before I used to always dress up but it was usually for school or date with my ex but now I think whats the point? If I have no one?Idk what to do!!!
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female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (14 August 2015):
 Hi,
after your daily shower, dress up nicely, take proper care of your overall physical appearance, this will automatically make you feel 10 times happier, 10 times more confident, 10 times better overall.
Do all the above for yourself first & foremost.
You do not need to only doll yourself up, simply because you were with somebody that you were attracted to.
You do not want to spiral downward into a deep dark place, as that will make it harder for you, recovery wise.
Start dressing up daily, get out of your pjs, or casual house wear after your shower, make sure to comb your hair, brush your teeth, apply a bit of natural makeup on, a bit of warm blush & lip gloss & a spray of good quality perfume, will make you feel automatically more feminine & attractive.
When you're not studying/working, go for daily outings, maybe a walk, the gym, cycling, shopping, listen to music, read a book outdoors in the park, or in your back yard, do some gardening, weeding to de-stress, or watch a DVD, go to see a movie with a friend, catch up with a friend over coffee, dinner, or whatever.
Even catch a train into town & visit your local museum or art gallery.
The fact is, you must organise to do things to occupy your mind & forcefully get you out of bed, to get ready for the day ahead.
Once you get into the habit of doing this, it will become easier & you'll actually feel much better from within.
It is normal after a break up though, to want to wallow in self pity & to do much reflecting, whilst feeling quite numb & not wishing/wanting to do much @ all & this phase, i'm most happy to inform you, WILL PASS & for some quicker than others, but it is still vital that you try hard to do any of the above.
One thing you must do, is to get ready daily & apply some makeup, just to give you that all needed, lift in your spirit.
Also, i am certain that your ex, isn't thinking about you daily, nor ignoring his own self-care, so you too, need to get your life into order & look good for you, not for anybody else.
Make this a lifelong practice.
I have been in numerous long-term relationships, prior to getting married & whenever i broke up with an ex, i never placed myself in the back seat.
I still took great care of my body, mind & spirit & i looked @ it as, 'his loss'.
Remember, love yourself, before anybody else will/can. :-)
All the best & let me know how you get on! :-)
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 August 2015):
 Right now you have no one "special" to impress with dressing up so you are in a "slob slump". It's not uncommon for girls (especially) to get those while getting over a guy. Because they think it will keep others away. It's easier to wallow in "woe is me" if others stay away.
Don't let it become a habit though. While you wallow in your heartbreak and whatnot, sure go for the "slob job", but... Once you start to get over him, dress up for YOURSELF - dressing up, being hygienic, looking good will make you FEEL good too. Many women dress to impress men, some to impress other women.. and some... to feel good about themselves. The last category? That is the healthy way.
My husband LOVES skirts.. I hate them, guess what? I rarely wear one. Tough for him.... I suppose, but I dress in things I like to wear, things that make me FEEL good.
Do it FOR you. When you are ready. You CAN minimize the make-up of you just don't feel it, no one has to be dressed to the nine 24/7/365
Oh and... if you are the PJ in the store kind of girl... GET out of that phase now. It's not cute for a grown woman to go around in her PJ's all day.
...............................
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