A
female
age
30-35,
*keez
writes:Hello everyone =]Ok i know this question may be to hard to answer but ive been trying to analyse this guy for a while, and my brain is just hurting! so my queston is should I be cautious of this guy or should i stop being so, and just relax and give him a chance.quick background on me. Single for about a year, 20 years old, go to University and have had bad experience with guys lol.ok this guy added me on fb (yer i know cliche) he knows a few of my mates but not on a close level. He was nice to me and said he had met me once when i was drunk and he said he wanted to talk to me when i was sober and get to know me. The problem with this guy is that he seems to have two very different sides to him. The first side being, he is overly confident to me over text messaging or on fb. He will openly ask me when he can take me out for a drink, when we can meet up etc. Im not saying I dont like confident guys, its just sometimes he just blurts it out of nowhere and it kind of startles me. Secondly he is flirty, after texting him constantly, for hours a day, sometimes all day and evening for about 3 weeks he bought up some sexual remarks (when drunk mind you) though tbh I do respond to them but not overly sexually (yer probably not a good idea, so my fault aswell). sometimes he will try and make me jealous by saying he doesnt need to try with any girls because they always go for him. I only joke back when he says stuff like that because its obvious he is going to still be looking at other girls. Its just he also texts me when hes drunk sometimes and the things he says can be a bit 'odd'. What struck me off big time was he told me not to ask my two friends about his 'reputation', as apparently they know about it. So obviousuly i asked them and they said they dont know him enough to say and they have never witnessed it. He acted as though my mates knew what he was like when they dont actually know anything about him or even hang out with him, which i found odd. and he also said that all the Fashion students (i do fashion at uni) know who he is and that hes popular with them. I asked pretty much all of them and only like 2 know of him but not mates with him, so again another lie.In person..its a completely different picture. He is polite, never tries to come onto me, he talks about his life and asks about mine. The first time we organised to meet, he was the one who told me it wont be a late one that night because he had a party to go to. I was suprised becuase tbh i just expected him to think he was goin to stay and get laid. (sorry i have pretty low self esteem) so i was happy he was shifting his plans round to see me. We were alone for about 2 hours, chatting, didnt try anything on, then my mates came over. I expected him to leave but he didnt. he stayed and spoke to my mates and hung out with them, was very nice to them which made me very happy. My friends were impressed with him when he left. Later that night he called me when he was a bit tipsy in the bathroom saying he enjoyed seeing me tonight and sorry that he was calling me in the toilet saying it wasnt very 'romantic'. I found it funny. After a couple of nights he said he was in town with his flatmate and said they were going home but he wanted to drop by and say hi. so he and his mate did and we all spoke and chatted for about an hour and i got to know his mate. Once i was getting tired he suggested to leave me so i could go to bed. As they headed towards the door, he said to me 'we should organise to do somthing in the week' so all good.We carry on taling through text everyday, he goes home to devon and still texts me. but it got to a point where he was really drunk one night and he 'joked' about flirting with my mate and if he could. I got offended and said he could go ahead but I wasnt sticking around' So i deleted him and stopped talking to him. So after a month he added me again and spoke to me. he was cheeky enough to say 'I cant remember why we stopped talking' and i was like...'check back on your messages to jog your memory' he did read back and apologised saying he says stupid things when he is drunk and doesnt mean them seriously and that if we could start all over and meet up?so should i give this guy the benefit of the doubt and think hes interested? or just playing? Thankssss
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drunk, flatmate, flirt, jealous, self esteem, text, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2011): He's not playing, I think he's a bit confused.He has asked you out,been fine when you've met up and clearly likes you or he would have moved on
Give the poor bloke a chance.Dont analize just go with the flow
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2011): From your own post u seem quite apprehensive about this guy. I would say go with ur first instincts n leave the guy alone. If u need further reasons to leave this guy then I'm sure if he continues to get drunk n text u that u will have them. You have doubts about him for a reason n u don't know why. Instead of forming a relationship form a friendship to find out who exactly is this person. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, xclamation point  +, writes (13 August 2011):
To be honest with you, it seems as if you both have serious drinking problems. You admit you have low self-esteem and he probably has this in common with you as well. What if you took some time out to sober up and work on being a more confident, together version of yourself. Maybe exercise, talk to a counselor, etc. You will have a much better chance of finding the right guy and keeping him wanting more if you radiate positive energy and signal that you believe in yourself and deserve a guy who only has eyes for you.
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