A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I'm 16 and about a month ago I found out that the girl I've had a massive crush on for five years has felt the same way for me all that time. The problem is that for 3 of those 5 years she was at another school and, during that time, got a boyfriend who she's been with for almost 2 years. I think that that relationship has frustrated her; leading her to open up to me and say she loved me. We've been falling slowly more in love for the last few weeks, but her boyfriend suspects that something is going on between us. To complicate things more, he's a really good friend of mine, and he's now under the impression that I was only ever friends with him to get to his girlfriend.He never really got intimate with her, I don't think they've ever even kissed during all that time, but he loves her and is nice to her and she obviously cares for him since she's been putting up with all the crap he's been saying recently.I just don't know what's supposed to happen next. It seems as though she loves me more than him, but they've shared so much time together that I think she doesn't want to let go of that relationship if she doesn't have to. And I don't know how to talk to her about it without coming off as a jerk trying to force her into a hurried decision.
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female
reader, Ashleigh babz  +, writes (8 March 2009):
thats a tough situation,
see how she feel's about him and just be a close friend to her to start of with. a girl always likes a man with a sholder to cry on! if she wants to stay with him let it be but if not then im sure there's a nother beautiful girl out there for you. yoju have all your life and carrer ahead of you dont loose it because of a girl!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): I have told her how I feel. That's partially what's so confusing now. We've held hands in astronomy if the planetarium is sufficiently dark and we're at the back. She's put her head on my shoulder when we saw a play when her boyfriend was out of town. And we even kissed on the way back from a field trip when everybody else was asleep. One part of me feels guilty for all of it and I know part of her does too, but we both feel that the connection between us is really different from anything before.
I know it pains her to still be with him and be secretly in love with me, but, like I said, I think she's afraid of losing that relationship if she doesn't have to. It just has me confused that we're in love, but that she still is with him.
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A
female
reader, Rainbows  +, writes (4 November 2007):
 Obviously a love triangle. but all is fair in love n war. if u have feelings for her and dont want to lose her, u better hurry before someone takes her from you right infront of ur eyes. not telling her about ur feelings now will only prick like cactus to u and ull only end up with regrets and frustration. maybe, she is just waiting for ur first move as she might also b feeling the same way tht she might look like a jerk if u reject her as she already has a boyfriend. if she enjoys and laughs more with u, then u better hurry buddy!dont just pour out ur love for her, but she needs ur shoulder now. Good Luck!
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