A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have reconciled after being separated for 2 months and I have no desires to be with him intimately. When he kisses on me and/or hugs me, I feel more like cringing than kissing and/or hugging him back. When he wants to have sex, I can't wait for it to be over and I pretend to climax so he doesn't feel inadequate. I'm confused as to why I feel this way. I know that I love him or I wouldn't want to work things out between us. Could it be the damage that he's caused in our past that's holding me back? I have forgiven him. It was mostly verbal and physical abuse due to drugs and alcohol, and as far as I know he never cheated on me. Things are better between us, but I'm not feeling an emotional connection with him anymore. I want to feel that way again, but as hard as I've tried, I can't force myself to. Any suggestions?
View related questions:
cheated on me, drugs, kissing, no desire Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): Well firstly the trust you had in him has gone. I understand how you must feel having experienced the pain of abuse from someone who supposedly loved me. The reason why you are feeling like this is because you are scared to give your love to him for fear that he is going to be abusive to you again. I think you are very brave that you have not given up on him totally. Does he do things to please you? Does he give you emotional attention, is he caring towards you? I think only if he can give you all these things, then maybe in time it will get better. If he is approachable, then I think you should talk with him about your feelings. Cook him his favourite dinner, get your kids out of the way, if you have any and have a candlelit meal together. Pull out all the stops and hopefully he will listen to you. Don't argue or get upset and talk to him in a matter of fact way. If he loves you then I'm sure you will be able to work things out together. Sadly for myself my ex husband chose the bottle over me and we are no longer together.
|
