A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey all! I could do with some tips on how to approach people more. I don't mean to sound full of myself but I am a fairly attractive and athletic guy who shouldn't have any problem meeting women.However, when it comes to the communication side of things I kinda suck! Once I know someone a little then I can talk and talk for hours about anything and everything but if someone is new to me or I see an attractive girl out and about I have absolutely no idea how to approach them.It has been bugging me for years because I have seen many girls show interest in me over the last 2/3 years but I always just ignore it because I don't have the confidence to go over and start up conversation with them.A lot of people I know just say go over the and say 'Hello' and in theory I could probably do that but in my head it seems like such a big deal so I was wandering if you lot could give me some tips on how to relax about things or an easier way to approach someone.I know I need to sort this out because I was out with friends last night and this very beautiful girl could not keep her eyes off me and all I wanted to do was go over and talk to her but I had no idea at all what to say or how to do it and missing the opportunity of meeting someone like that is rather annoying.Thanks in advance and I'll be sure to check back tomorrow. I hope you have all had a great Christmas and I wish you the best for 2013!
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female
reader, Freckletone  +, writes (30 December 2012):
Be confident but not too confident, be friendly but not too friendly because then you will be placed in the just friend zone and I do not think that you want that.... so i was saying if shes by herself go up to her alone introduce yourself and ask her if you can buy her a drink and make conversaiton ( if she goes there often but dont sound like a creep) then ask her for her number if you are really interested in her.... if you are at a club ask her to dance with you... if she is with friends its okay to take one of your friends with you he talks to the friend while you talk to the girl you are interested in.... you will be fine just relax, be confident and dont act like an ass if you dont get the response you expect from a girl keep your cool and be a Man... good luck ... let me know how it goes if you try this :)
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (30 December 2012):
Your fear of rejection is obviously crippling. You just need to get over it by leaving your comfort zone. Saying "hello" to a girl sounds easy because it is. Make small talk long enough to know if the person shows any interest in you; if they do, ask them if they'd like to go out sometime. It's just something you have to get used to doing, like riding a bike.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (29 December 2012):
 Go up and introduce yourself. That's all you have to do. If she was giving you the come hither eyes, my guess is she would do the talking once you did. Good ways to start, introduce yourself first. You can make a compliment on something non-sexual that isn't a body part. Earrings are usually very safe if she's wearing them or rings. Do not compliment a necklace unless it's exceptionally interesting. Usually when guys compliment women's necklaces they are looking for an excuse to stare at her boobs. Ask her questions. Look up cool facts about where you are (like the building or the neighborhood) to drop them into the conversation if there's a lull.
99% of it though is just having the confidence to go over there. If there's chemistry and she's interested the conversation will just come.
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