A
male
age
36-40,
*errible1
writes:Below is an account for the last three years of my relasonship with my partner, i don't know what i want to acchive from writing this i don't even know why i'm writing this but i am still in this relasonship and i hate it but can't leave why?I don't know what has happened, it's almost like i've been brain washed. I hate you so much, i hate my life so much, i just wish you would go away and disappear out of my mind forever! I wish we never met and wouldn't pass on my expereinces with you to my worst enemy. I should have gone through with it first time around, don't worry through you wicked bitch; this time i will.My feelings of hatred began in our first year of this relasonship, if you can call it that. The feelings i had were so strong, sort of like the complete oposite of what i feel for you now. But you betrayed me, whether you own up to it or not, i felt betrayed like never before. At the time i felt like i have no-one but you and then you betrayed meand then lied about it. hah i remember once when you came home with a love bite on your neck, i asked you how you got it and you said that i gave it to you the night before....how dumb i was to belive that, how stupid nieve. But still i progressed with the relasionship even though it was tinted with betrayel and haterid on my part. Soon after we had been out drinking for my birthday. I didn't want to go out but you made me. It was my 19th birthday and lots of my friends where out, unaware of what was going through my mind. I drank to much even to drive which must have been alot back then. You ended up driving, we dropped a certain close (at the time) friend of at his house and then drove back to our flat. I feel out of the car and got your coat muddy. You were pissed off, kicked me and then went inside. I laid outside for a short while and then went into the flat. An argument broke out between us, i wanted to leave and you hid my keys. I got angry and in a drunken state pushed you, you hit me with a bat on my back. You then said that you were going to call your family and pretended to dial there number on the phone. I new that you didn't dial the number and told you, you then dialed the number for real and claimed that i had hit you and done all manner off other stuff to you. Your mum and dad came round and your mum told you to hit me in the face which you did causing me a nose bleed. Eventually a spare set of keys were found and i went back to my mums for the night. You told everyone how i beat you up and where so cruel to you. I felt so bad, like i couldn't go out, like i couldn't speak to people i had known all my life. everyone belived you over me, not that i ever tried to put my version of events across...not till now.Friendless i went into a silly state of my mind. Having blown my closest friend out because you didn't like him i felt very alone. I was never that close to my family and anyway with what i was being accused off i didn't really feel like talking to anyone about it. What you did then was worst than killing some one, you took away my sole my being you me away. I felt like the only think i could do was to get back together with you to show everyone that we were ok and what had happened was a big mistake. I didn't love you but still wanted to get back together with you to prove to everyone else that i was who i was, like i said i was stupid back then. What everyone else thought of me ment more to me than anything else, even my family.The lie began and life went on, agruing and fighting like worst emenys. We moved out of our little flat and got given a slightly larger one. When moving the bed i found my car keys from that night, hidden. you claimed never to have seen them yet there they were. I took that without causing to much of a fight though i probably said something. Your family were going on holiday to Malta, i was invited. The holiday was going well until one night, the night off your mums birthday we were all at this nightclub were there was like this break dancing contest going on. I was far far to drunk and wanted to go home. I wanted you to come home with me and told you that we could make love and i would do all manner of things with you. You be grudingly came and we walked back to the hotel we were staying at. As soon as we got to the room i must have fallen asleep. The next thing i knew is that you were going mad, kicking me and that. saying how you wished that you were still with your mum and dad. You then went in to our "close friends" room and i followed you, you said that you wanted to be away from me but i kept staying with you. The argument must have stept up a gear coz i was packing my stuff wanting to get out of there, you sprayed aftershave in my eyes and kept on pushing me. I remember our "close friend" telling you to stop pushing me. You threw a load of my stuff over the balcony. I grabbed my passport and t-shirt and went back into dans room. You must have shut the door as when i went back there it was locked. I kicked a hole in the door and opened it from the inside. I got something else and just went down the stairs leading outside. You were waiting for me close to the botton of the stairs trying to stop me from leaving. Was this because you loved me or because you didn't want to look like a dick the next day? the latter i would imagine.You tried to stop me, putting you hand on my arm, i pushed it away and you fell. I remember going back up the stairs, glancing at you at the floor. I can't remember what i felt. I went up the stairs, got to the top and went back down them. Our "close friend" was bending over you. I quickly went up the stairs and went the other way out. I left the hotel and was walking really quickly to get away from there. I bumped into your mum and dad and they asked what was going on, i said nothing and carried on walking.In the end i got to the airport after an adventure with no money in a foreign country and a confortatison with the police and got a flight home. When you got back i was over you, i just kept on thinking of the bad and no matter how hard i tried i couldn't think of any good. When you got home i went to bring our dog over to you as he was your really. you invited me in and said were you getting over me? i don't really remember what happened then but we ended up sleeping together and once again the lie continued, probably because it was all we knew, maybe we didn't want to split up i don't know but once again everyones perception of the event was...well someone said to me once a lepard never chances it's spots.
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acne, drunk, get back together, money, moved out, my ex, on holiday, split up Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (6 October 2007):
You two sound like pitt bulls ready to fight over anything real or imaginary. I think you both should join AA and anger management. The result may be the best course is for you two to go your separate ways.
A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (6 October 2007):
 Yes this can and probably has helped you a bit. It is called a catharsis and gives you the chance to talk things out and get things off your chest, so to speak. It sounds like you have been through a lot. Hope things get better for you. Doc
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