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I don't know how he'd cope if we broke up, but I have this desire to be single and free!

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 August 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom, *nookerfan writes:

Hey,

Basically, I've been with my fiancee for nearly 5 years, since I was 17. It was a long distance thing at first but when I was 20 I started University near him so stayed at his every weekend and in all the holidays, so basically moved in with him:)

Things were great up until about a year ago. I am bi and he knows and has no problem with it, but in the past year i've been getting interested in other people, all women. Its never purely a physical thing, in fact its probably more an emotional thing. Nothing has ever happened but i've had times when I can't stop thinking about these people! He has known about these "crushes" and finds them quite funny, but i'm not sure if he knows how serious my feelings have been about them!

Anyway, i've just come back from doing voluntary work abroad for a month, and its changed my perceptions on what I want - he wants kids and to settle down, but now thats the last thing I want to do! I wanna travel and possibly do postgraduate study. I've told him this and he's ok with it, but I think part of me was hoping he wouldnt be!

As i've been with him since I was 17, i've never really known the single life, and i find myself thinking everything would be so much easier if I was on my own, and not cos I want to mess about with other people! If I wasnt with him, I think i'd stay single for a good while:)

He isnt the easiest person to live with and sometimes I do wonder why I bother!

I've been so close to ending it once or twice, but in the end just didnt have the guts, and I think guilt stopped me from ending it too, cos he really loves me and I know it would break his heart! And also he's quite a bit older than me, and he's said that he doesnt think he'd ever find someone to be with properly if me and him ended, so I worry how he'd cope if I ended it!:(

Anyway, I guess I just want opinions on what I should do!

Thanks!

View related questions: broke up, fiance, long distance, moved in, university

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A male reader, razorblade United Kingdom +, writes (13 August 2010):

Hey what happened a year ago you should start to feel deferent, Its a good job someone didnt tell the woman who's given you advice that she should get out, when as she states in her profile she was having dificulties, Or she wouldnt have the husband and 3 kids shes crowing about would she!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010):

Hello

You dont say if you love him or not? I hope he never reads this as i guess with all the info you have given he would know in a second it was about the two of you, Im sure that would break his heart for ever!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010):

DONT DO IT YOU WILL REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010):

HI

Why do you want to break up with this guy if hes prepared to love you and doesnt mind about your bi tendancys? seem to me you have it made? give it time I am sure you 2 can work it out xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010):

Hey,

Dont do anything rash! you have been with him 5 years, so you must love him? He sounds like he loves you to, so why do you want to end it if this guy is happy for you to do what ever you want? you say you have bee away for some time, well see how it is in six months dont break

this guys heart on a whim you may be totaly back in love in a while, give it some time before you ruin both your lives,I did a the very same thing and now im unhappy and so is my former partner,you owe it to both of you to give it a go, Being bi myself i know what your going through, But dumping someone who loves you isnt the answer,

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (12 August 2010):

Honeypie agony auntBe honest with him. To me it seems that the two of you just aren't in the same place right now.

He will cope. He will HAVE to. You CAN NOT stay in a relationship that doesn't make you happy, just to please this guy. And as wonderful as you are, there are other girls out there ;)

Set him free.

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