A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I hope you can help. I feel really depressed. I feel like I haven't got a friend in the world and that I am surrounded by fakes. I am on a social networking site, and a lot of people I knew at school have added me. The thing is, they very rarely speak to me, never meet up with me and most recently, I created an event to go on holiday for my birthday next year, I am from the UK and want to go to america, one person has put they might atend, which I appreciate, but eight people have said they aren't going to attend. A couple of people have been polite and explained why they couldn't go, but others haven't even done that. They could at least say thanks for the invite !.I know most of them haven't been friends properly with me for years, but I was hoping to rekindle some of these friendships. Just because you haven't seen each other for a long time, shouldn't mean you can't try again now. I know peoples lives can change a lot, but that shouldn't be any excuse. I even said they could bring their spouses, partners, kids, etc if they wanted to and that we could all pitch in to help with the cost, as it's only fair, as it can be expensive especially if a lot of people go. I said I would create another event if this one falls through, but I'm not sure if I want to or not. My brother has a villa in Spain, I could invite them there, as I can take care of the flights myself and my brother might not charge much, or anything, for the villa, since I am family. I really want to go to America though as I've never been.I also don't have many new friends. How can I fix this?I'm also considering getting rid of my account on there, although there are some nice people on it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): I do have some other friends i have met afew times briefly,such as people from the fan parties i mentioned,maybe i could ask them too,although they all live in different parts of the country ?.The problem is,i live in a very small town,where there isnt much going on.I dont really like living here.I'd love to travel on holiday,and maybe eventually move away,either to another part of the country or abroad.I was also considering asking other family members if they would like to go,but again,it depends if they could afford it,and even with most of them,i dont see them very often.
Apart from Spain,another place i thought of was london,which isnt too expensive depending on where you stay,and it's in this country anyway.
Only two people have said they might be able to go to America,6 people havent replied yet,so i will wait and see how it goes for a while,but if it falls through,i'll try and plan something else.
I'm not working at all at the moment and it gets so boring.My day consists of me watching tv,going on the internet,listening to music,looking for jobs,and occassionally, going to the shops in town.And every so often,not so much,i go to a concert or show at a theatre.I dont feel like i'm living my life and it gets me down.I would also like to study child care,so that maybe i can become a nanny,and also do some voluntary work to help elderley people,a career in care work might also get me a job where i can travel too,but i just dont know if i have the confidence to do it.I think i would be ok going on holiday with some people,although i've never been on holiday without my family before,but if i were with responsible people,it would be ok,and with the people i chose to go,i know they are responsible.But,with getting a job,i think i lack confidence there.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): Also,i feel really bad about this,but my brother is rich,and i feel like asking my dad,and my brother and his girlfriend to go with me to america.Not just because my brother has alot of money,although obviously that does help,but also because we would get to go there as a family as a birthday treat.My brother has been to places like mexico and africa before,so america shouldnt be a problem.
i know it might sound bad,but me and my dad dont have much money,we get by ok,but america just seems to be really expensive,maybe because its so far away,i wish i could find a cheap package deal,which,by the way,i said to the other people i invited,about he cheap package deal i mean.
I might still be able to go to spain with afew people aswell,as it doesnt cost much
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): I know people who have had fan parties for bands they like,and thry have asked complete strangers,or people they barely know,to contribute money towards it,since there would be a lot of people.do you think i should try planning the trip to spain with them instead ? i dont want to be let down again though.i might be able to go to america still though.i'd really like to visit new york, california, chicago, florida, north or south carolina, texas, any of those places.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): I feel quite embarrassed now... I was just trying to do the right thing by saying we would all contribute. It would have been good as it would have been like a reunion.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 November 2008):
Sweetheart, it's one thing sending facebook messages to someone you used to know, but spending up to a thousand pounds and most of your holiday time off work going to a place that some one ELSE wants to go to is a completely different thing.
I think you need to get out and away from the internet and meet some new people.
Join some clubs and groups and volunteer somewhere so you can meet new people.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 Hi,I'm from the USA but I've always wanted to go to the UK. You're welcome here in my country... although I am wanting to go abroad. Send me a private message, I could be your Florida pen pal. I live in North Carolina right now, it's no fun. You might like the state of Texas, which, in my opinion is the best state. People are really nice and friendly there. I'm sorry for your sadness, but I feel your pain. Are you missing your university days? I'll never forget the pain and disappointment, a lot of the people I met in college that I thought would be close to me for life, have lost touch with me. It made me so sad, but the truth is, that the true friends that stand by you are rare gems, the friends that you just hange out with are a dime a dozen. There's nothing wrong with you, though, it's just that people are really thoughtless with their friends. I have a very close friend from university, he was like a brother to me, and now he doesn't respond to my mails. I miss him so, and I understand people have their lives, I teach school so I understand that perfectly, but you don't turn your back on your friends.You say that you know some nice people from the social networking site. I think that you should send them a private message and tell them that you are cancelling your account and want to stay in touch with them. I am sorry that you're feeling sad but I hope things work out for you to have friends. Just use caution with the internet. Keep your eyes open, and be careful, but you could make friends online... you have the whole world.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): Don't delete your account as you aren't losing anything by having it. A holiday is a lot to ask for, you should start with something smaller like a cinema trip and a meal or something.
As for friends, that's down to you. Meet new people, and talk more to those already around you. Act confident and people are more likely to befriend you (just don't go overboard or people will think you're arrogant!)
Good luck =]
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