A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is driving me mad... please I need advice!!I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months, I was in love with his friend, before I met him and I was young at the time but that's all in the past. My boyfriend is loving caring, polite, thoughtful and has great sense of humour. He's in love with me which he says and I can see for myself.Here is the problem - I love him but I'm not in love with him... if it makes sense?? I'm his world, he puts me before anyone friends and family but I can't do that in return, I mean yes, I do care about him, love spending time with him, I think about him and miss him when I don't see him.Everything seems pretty much perfect when I'm with him but when I'm alone and start thinking, something just don't quite feel right! I used to have thousands of butterflies when I used to bump into his friend, the feeling of excitement and joy I can still remember all, I don't get any of that for my boyfriend!! Nothing happend betwen me and his friend, our conversations didn't go beyond a hi and bye but he knew I had feelings for him which he politely turned me down as he had a girlfriend I wasn't aware of. It took me 2 years to recover from this heartbreak and that was when I met my boyfriend. I don't know what to think or how to feel any more... I feel like I'm taking his love for granted, I mean what more can I ask for right?Could his friend be the reason for all this confusion? Please help, I'm desprate for any advice!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lovely_helper  +, writes (22 November 2009):
This is my EXACT deliema...only it's not my boyfriend's friend, it's a friend of mine.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): I think to be "in love" with the person at the first stages of a relationship is absolutely a MUST. Love is what's left of "in love" over time. And another thing: half of happiness is giving, not just receiving. If you can't give him what he gives you, you are half happy and it's not fair for him either. A good female friend of mine stayed in her relationship for the same reasons you stay in yours. Now she is 31, been 10 years with him, he adores her, she doesn't want to marry him, but after all this time she is just stuck with him.
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