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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, thanks in advance for taking the time to read this and (hopefully) responding!I’ve just been feeling a bit down lately. I’m 18 years old and for the past 10 months I’ve been in a great relationship. We were close friends for a while beforehand, but the entire time I had feelings for him and after telling him we decided to date. And it’s been amazing!So of course, other people are my problem. I hear constant jokes from my friends and family about our age difference (he’s 25). And yes I know it’s quite big, but so far it hasn’t played any kind of role in the relationship except for the comments from my friends. For example, one of my best friends affectionately refers to him as “pedo” and another one constantly calls him “the adult you’re with.” Or “that man.” (Whenever they talk about him they say ‘man’ instead of guy, so they’re only doing it to point out the age—even though he acts and looks exactly like my 18 year old guy friends.)I’m not sure if I should let this bother me or not. My friends all say that they really do like him and they’re supportive, but I do wish they wouldn’t make jokes sometimes, because the age gap is something I’ve always been sensitive about…just my own insecurity I guess.Another thing that bothers me is when people constantly assume that we’re going to breakup. I know I’m extremely young and this relationship has a small chance of being “my last”, but just the other day someone was saying that I’ll have “plenty more relationships” in my life, and that I shouldn’t take Ryan so seriously because it isn’t going to last.I know I’m extra-sensitive but these things really bother me. How can I stop overreacting about this and just laugh it off?
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male
reader, Blue Rat  +, writes (4 January 2007):
I am 46 and my girlfriend is 32. We started seeing each other 12 years ago (you do the maths)and have been living together for over ten years. We are as happy as now as we ever were and have a fantastic relationship.
The point is, don't get hung up on your respective ages. If you have a good relationship and are happy together then just enjoy it. If your friends tease you, then laugh it off, or as "Reebe" says in her reply, just say "aren't I the lucky one!" Or "Yes, at least he knows what to do!"
If you stop reacting they'll soon get bored with it
As for whether you will have other relationships - well, you are only 18, so statistically it's highly likely that you will, although people do sometimes meet and fall in love at an early age, and stick with that person for life. But not very often.
The thing is, don't worry about it. Don't try and map out your whole life at just 18. Just enjoy the relationship while you're both happy together and see where it takes you: a month, a year, a decade, a lifetime. Who knows.
Best of luck.
A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (4 January 2007):
 You've been together for a while and they're still teasing you, then you must be giving some sort of reaction!
My boy friend is 5 years older than me and i don't even notice the age difference!
You need to try not to be so sensitve as they know that what they're saying is bothering you which is why they do it!
Try saying things like - "yeah he's older so he knows what he's doing"
or "aren't i the lucky one!"
i think if you don't give them a reaction they'll get bored.
As for you 2 splitting up they may or may not be right and no one can predict that, so just say to them lets wait and see who's right!
Don't fall out with them as friends are important too. Just smile sweetly!
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A
female
reader, Pretty and proud +, writes (4 January 2007):
 i agree with martini, yes you should talk to your friends about this but love is the strongest feeling you can feel (the strongest good feeling) and nothing should be able to come between two people that love eachother, if your friends carry on after you have spoken to them then i am afraid to say that they are not real good friends.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): You obviously are bothered by it. Since you're bothered by it, have a nice stern talk with your friends. Tell them you do mind that they make jokes like that.
Second, you can't stop overreacting. You are who you are.
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