A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok here's the question: What do you do when your significant other has a fetish that you don't think is very sexy? His fantasy during masturbation is that he can disassemble my body (not in a gory way, but consensually), and that we both do impossible sex acts with my body parts; he mentioned my vagina and head mainly. I didn't get a lot out of him, because he saw that I was initially weirded out. I'm somewhat repulsed by the thought that he could objectify my body like that... Since I can't LITERALLY take my body apart, I think he wants me to talk about the acts, perhaps act it out in imagination, maybe get a rubber vagina and play with it... I don't know! This fantasy is ridiculous to me, and at least right now I don't feel like I could "play" with him seriously. He gave me the impression that this is somewhat of an obsession he's had for years. Now I'm wondering if he found someone online or on the phone to talk to about it sexually. That in itself breaks my heart, but I might be being paranoid. Do I just need time to get used to his idea? If I try whatever he wants and it freaks me out, will it be reasonable for me to ask him to keep it in his masturbating fantasies? The way he talked about it, it seemed so imperative for me to accept and participate in his fetish...
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice, those of you that said we could remain together. I found out that his fetish is something called "Natural Body Magic," and there are a few sites out there catering to it. I think he's accepted that it's not something I'm comfortable with, but we're willing to compromise and try something new we both like. Since we plan to be together for many years to come, I hope we discover many things that are just as exciting for him!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): It's not that big of a deal. Everyone has fantasies and they are meant to be things that would NEVER really happen. They are usually out there and "weird" it's just that society has become accustom to so much that things are more accepted now than they used to be. Think back to girl on girl and anal sex, those things were and still are taboo in some cases, but i'm sure someone thought they were weird. He obviously trusts you a lot if he confided such a secret in you. Just because he told you does not mean he wants to try and act it out, or that he's talking to someone online about it. I have an ex who had a very odd fantasy. the first time he told me i was a bit freaked out, and i could tell he was scared to tell me. After a while i got used to it and it didn't bother me as much. I wasn't into it, it also made me uncomfortable and in a nice, subtle way i let him know that without hurting his feelings or making him feel weird. I asked him what other fantasies he had and told him some of mine and then found a few that we both liked and tried them, letting the "odd" one go. Bottom line, everyone has fantasies and some are very disturbing and weird, but that does not mean the person is a murderer or psycho. There are lots of people both men and women who fantasize about rape or violent aggressive sex, but that doesn't mean they would ever really act that way. Just talk to him and let him know that while you accept his fantasy it's not something you are comfortable with acting out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is making me feel lost so far... I should have added that we've been together for five years, and we're on the verge of becoming engaged. Words I would use ot describe him are: polite, empathetic, moral, generous in bed, and romantic.
This confession shows me that he trusts me a great deal. His normally empathetic nature seems to be overridden by this fetish.
We are compatible in almost every way! I feel like this thing has driven a wedge between us, and I'm the cause of it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): I have had a few partners in my time and their fantasies although not my cup of tea, never made me feel weird like this one your boyfriend has. And to be honest, had any of them told me of a fantasy the same as this one i would probably have left without looking back.
sleep with one eye open :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): Hello I find this disturbing. Fantasy,or not its not right.
You should flat out tell him that makes you uncomfy, and maybe ask him why he finds that to be a turn on.
After someone divulged that information to me I'd move on.
Good luck
;D
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