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I don't feel "that" special person is my ex, as she has emotional baggage and I am not ready for an exlusive relationship just yet. What do you think?

Tagged as: Age differences, The ex-factor, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 August 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 September 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Okay, I'm seeing this woman who's a bit older than me (I'm 24 she's 31) and she's also my ex. Things seemed to be going well enough, until she revealed to me that she's looking for an exclusive (as well as sexual) relationship with me, something I'm not ready to get involved with just yet.

Mainly because she herself has a lot of prior emotional baggage thanks to men treating her rotten, and has a quick temper and low tolerance for things not going her way. Not to mention I'm still a virgin waiting for the right person to be my first experience, but I don't feel that person is her. And the last thing I feel I should do is give up my virginity to someone who needs sex more than I do.

What to do?

View related questions: my ex, still a virgin

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your input. Telluah, to answer your question, I would want to make sure that she feels I am the right man for her as well. But I know what you're saying, if she doesn't like the sex as much as I do, would I feel rejected...well, sure. And maybe I would (initially) feel bitter towards women, but that's why I want to really be sure it is the right person for me to be in a serious relationship with and likewise for her. I appreciate it.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2008):

If you are not ready to be in this kind of relationship with this woman then don't be.

Be polite and tell her you can't give her what she needs and will hurt her if you tried and failed.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2008):

TELLULAH agony auntHi,

Clearly you did the right thing for yourself and her. You both seem to want different things from life, she wants a man that will respect and take care of her, and you want that special person to give your virginity to. I think its better for you both to stay ex's because I really cant see the point in this for either of you.

Just one question if you dont mind!

What if you find the right girl for you, and you have sex, and then she decides you are not the right man for her. How would this leave you feeling, would you feel a little bitter towards women maybe?

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