A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had an amazing long term relationship a few years ago that ended mostly because of money issues... I still think about this ex and miss him terribly. Our breakup shocked our friends and family but I needed to leave because I feel like lost myself as a person relying on my significant other financially. I felt so small as a person. Since then I began my own career and have been able to support myself. In the time apart, I have begun a new relationship... one much different that the one from years ago... My ex and current boyfriend are very different. While I was with my ex, I thought the "we" was indefinite... this relationship is a relationship that could end any day... I don't feel the security or stability that I had with my past relationship. My ex still pops in my mind from time to time and I know he's still in my heart. He wants to try again at a relationship between us but I'm so scared of failing again. Am I just putting down my current relationship and boyfriend because I miss my ex? Should I even consider returning to my ex? I am so confused and I am so sorry its so long winded... Thank you for any help...
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male
reader, Real Love 32  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Hi,
Though I have never been in this kind of situation, i am placing myself in your shoes.
Me in your shoes: When you lovce someone it should endure all things. Even though the break up was based on finance, in my opinion that is no reason to leave someone. Ok, you felt like you had lost yourself because of dependency. I clearly know how that feels. My question is did you communicate that to him? Relationships are work, and you can restore any issues that arises with work on both parts. If you really love him and the love is mutual, than you should go for it. My advice to you is whn in a relationship never let go of yourself in any way.
As for your current relationship. I think its only right to get out soon so that the impact of that pain is not that severe.
Good luck and take care!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): Hi there
I don't want to be the person telling you Yes or No I just hope to offer you my opinion and perhaps you can use that to make a decision for yourself.
Sometimes we have to listen to our hearts and do what we feel is right rather than what people think is right. Ask yourself how you will feel if you don't give it another try with your ex, will you always be wondering what if...? Then ask yourself will you be asking the same thing if you don't carry on trying with your current partner?
Sometimes it can be easy to forget the bad memories and only remember the good times, think practically about your ex and day-to-day how much you enjoyed each others company.
Don't worry about what other people might say or think, go with what feels right in your heart and what you know will make you happy. Just make sure no one gets strung along on the way. Its either one or the other.
Good Luck in your future I hope everything can work out for you x
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (5 November 2010):
It seems like your heart is not in your current relationship and given that you say it could end any day, the likelihood is that it will eventually.
As to whether you should give things with your ex another go, clearly you are both still in love with each other, but you are afraid that history will repeat itself.
However, things have changed since then. You said you split up over finances and you were relying on him, but now you have a new career and can support yourself.
It you were into your current boyfriend, I would say just carry on, but based on everything you said, I think you should end the current one and give the old one a go again.
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