A
female
age
36-40,
*4u2nVx
writes:I have been seeing my boyfriend for 2 months now but we have known each other for 6 years as we used to have casual sex, on and off. I have doubts about us as he makes me feel used sometimes and I doubt his faithfulness. It all started when he kept saying things to me that suggested he wanted more and eventually after 3 months he told me how he felt and when we first saw each other after that, it felt amazing. But that didn't last very long.The first thing was that I tagged some photos of us on facebook and he untagged the ones of us he untagged the ones where you could see we were an item. When I questioned him about it he basically said he didn't want people to see his soppy side. He has also turned his wall off to me so that I couldn't write on it, in fact I couldn't even see it. But, my friend still could. He turned it back on when I said I couldn't see it but he has kept it so nobody can write on it. It feels like he doesn't want anyone to know about me.I know that he has given his number to a girl on there and he said it was just flirting and if he ever done anything he would tell me. I let it go as I can be a flirt myself but I know that I would never go all the way with anyone else.This man has no job and therefore never has any money so it's always me calling him/texing him. I never get anything back. The other day he stayed for 2 nights so I thought that was him making more of an effort as normally he only stays one night. (We have a long distance relationship). The first night we stayed in and the second night I got bored of being indoors so I paid for us to go to the cinema, I spent a lot of money and when we gort back he asked if I could get us a pizza. He got money the next day and never offered to give me any for the night before. He also owes me £30 but I didnt ask for it as I know he had 2 birthdays coming up. I don't feel like his girlfriend anymore I just feel used, I don't know if he is serious about me. How can I be sure?
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female
reader, LoveLace  +, writes (23 May 2010):
Bottomline, he may care about you but he clearly wants to keep his options open. You deserve someone that is proud of to show you off, not keep you hidden. He's not being fair to you and it is up to let him know your feelings. If he doesnt change, dump him.
I have been in a similar situation. He and i were friends for five years before we began hooking up casually. Ultimately, we began dating but it was truly one sided. He snubbed me on facebook also. Once, he didnt reply to the post that said i missed him and second, he deleted my post all together. The deleting was the final straw...I miss him at times and the amazing sex, but i dont miss feeling used and sad..I still don't know why he would treat me that way when i thought, and he said, he was falling in love with me...
You deserve better. It is hard but you have to stand up to him, or stay miserable.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 May 2010):
 Don't spend any more money on him. If that means you can get together and have fun, so be it. Sooner or later the sex would be gone because you can't seriously get turned on by a guy who owes you money. No fun no sex no money no relationship, unless he gets a job, pays you back, and treats you to dinner.
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