A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have a question, a lot of girls that i have dated don't seem to bother about my looks, and many people tend to tell me that i am goodlooking etc., But i find myself ugly, and i have big lips,etc , which i am made fun of sometimes, and i find that "this is reality" and tend to improve my looks, but nothing works and i dont want to be like this. I want to be a guy who can be like their prince or something. I know i am asking too much but can you please help me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 May 2017):
 A lot of girls love big lips as a feature. Honestly I don't see what the problem is here, you say you have dated lots off girls so either that is a lie or else you are doing pretty good with the girls. I mean they wouldn't date you if they did not find you attractive. Believe me girls go for personality over looks more than you think.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2017): You said you've dated a lot of girls. Many people have told you that you are good-looking. The girls you've dated have no problem with your looks.
So this really isn't about how girls feel about you. You just don't like having "big lips." Big lips are an attribute that have made people famous.
Would it be safe to assume you are nonwhite? If your racial identity or ethnicity has certain attributes; you have to work on dealing with accepting who you are. Considering the amount of money people are spending these days to enlarge their lips, I don't really think it's considered an unattractive feature. You just have to grow a thicker skin and ignore the teasing.
You're a bit too old to allow teasing to get to you. Much teasing comes from envy. To belittle you for what you have that others lack, but wish they had!
To want to be considered some girl's prince is an immature aspiration. If they like you for who you are, they have a right to accept you on whatever terms that comes natural to them. They don't have to idolize you or your appearance to really care for you. As they have proven by your own admission.
Our advice to young men and women who don't love themselves for who they are rarely makes any difference to them.
You can reassure them until your mind goes numb; but self-loathing of your race or looks isn't something you can really talk people out of. Some require therapy. They usually end-up spending a fortune on corrective-surgeries and looking strange; when most of the problem about how they look was in their own heads.
You live in a world surrounded by ads and information telling you exactly how to improve your appearance; but loving yourself comes from within. Your lips don't make you ugly, your behavior and how you treat others is what really counts. Full-lips are very sensual and appealing; and feel wonderful to kiss.
You're very young, most of this is a phase you're going through. Vanity tends to bother us all at one time or another. You really don't have a problem, accept you don't like your lips. They're a part of you, and you haven't been rejected by girls due to your appearance.
Maybe some counseling will help you with your self-esteem and acceptance of what nature and genetics have offered you.
Ugly people aren't told they are good-looking. Conceited and vane people put looks above everything. They feel they're only value comes from their looks and want worship. Not love.
Embrace your features and who you are. Your features start to change after a few years, and we often get used to what we see. We even start to notice how the changes of maturity actually make us look better. In any case, you have to love yourself, how nature has made you; and be happy that girls like you for who you are, not just how you appear.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 May 2017):
 While YOU may focus on the features YOU don't like many girls will focus on your personality AND the features THEY like.
So maybe YOU need to focus on the things about yourself that you DO like. Maybe you have gorgeous eyes, great hair, nice body. So USE that.
Dress in colors that compliment your skin tone, your eye color, that DRAWS the eye to the things about YOU that you DO like.
And I agree, EXERCISE is ALWAYS good for building self-confidence. Doesn't mean you have to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger - but feeling comfortable in your own skin helps and when YOU feel comfortable it shows.
So, you are no model - neither are millions of other dudes. While being attractive in a "commercial" sense can be good - it's QUITE often the people who AREN'T commercially "pretty" that stands out and gets noticed.
Love who you are and your own mug. It's yours. If it's not the most handsome face in Canada, MAKE it the face that goes with an exceptionally charming personality.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2017): You've dated lots of girls and you don't think you are attractive? Trust me, lots of girls means that you are a success with girls. They like you. They think you are attractive.
what lets you down is your own confidence in you.
And another thing is that some very unattractive guys reel in the girls because they are marvellous at really focusing on the girl and listen to her and get to know what is important to her and find out what she likes. and they also usually have a good sense of humour. Plus they believe in themselves and that confidence is really really attractive.
Now to the lips. You are surely aware that some girls spend insane amounts of money on their lips to make their lips look bigger. Do you realise that some girls (me included) find mean almost lipless guys very unattractive?
Learn to be a really good kisser. Because lush big gorgeous lips are a sure turn on for many girls. (yes me included)
walk tall, believe in you and be willing to start focusing on what are your strengths. Because I am sure that you do have some strengths if, already, you have dated lots of girls.
And anyone who does say mean things about your lips is probably jealous that you have what they want and can't have.
To improve your confidence in you focus on your fitness. Because regular exercise will improve your mood and make you feel more positive.
I am not talking about building up muscle so you look like a body builder (believe me that is unattractive to many girls) but I am talking about some walking in the park, maybe borrow a bicycle and do some cycling. Maybe go for a regular swim. If you feel up to it them some running around a local park. Anything to get you out and about and work on your fitness. It will make you feel better about yourself if you do it regularly.
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