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female
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anonymous
writes: i have been dating my boyfriend for two years. we are older and both widow and widowers. my family is fine with it because they want their mother to be happy. his family is another story. one of his two children{both of them are married} has always had a problem with it. she is used to getting everything she has ever wanted and has always been spoiled. he used to spend a lot of his time with her and her family before i came into his life. his other child {married} has no problem with us. however, the one that does have the issue has always talked to this mans sister and brother-in-law about me. they are forever doing things with the intent that they are going to break us up. i know that the only way to stop this is for my boyfriend to do it. i can do nothing since it is his family. they never include me when inviting his to their home. last winter they invited him to come and spend a few days with them but told him i could not come. he did not go and he told me that it was not right for them to do this. the bad thing is that i keep telling him that they do things like this but he is in denial that his family would do things like this. it is so obvious. they did not like his first wife and they don't like me. they just don't like for him to have anyone. this is because the brother-in-law always wants him available to go fishing and his sister always pushes her husband to go because he like to nip at the bottle and she will not allow him to do this at home. these people are so two faced.....it just blows my mind. my boyfriend told the child of his that has always had a problem with us dating too much early on about us and she told her aunt everything trying to get some empathy from her. please tell me what i can do to help me deal with this situation. i keep telling my boyfriend that if we got engaged, this would help because they would see me as a fiancee rather than "just a girlfriend". please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): from ur point of veiw..i feel ur pain..u despratley want to be happy and accepted..and u also want to feel important..frm the daughters perspective..she probably sees u as the woman who is taking her beloved father away from her. firstly..have u tried speaking to his daughter?..if not..y not write her a letter..sit down with ur boyfreind..and with his advice try and write something to her...tell her that u understand his children are very important to him..and that u wud never want to come inbetween their relationship..all that u want is a chance..tell her that u love her father and his family and it hurts u by the fact that ur not accepted..y not ask her why she doesnt accept u?..if this doesnt work..at least ur boyfreind will know that u have tried..n then push the engagement thing abit further..but only if he wants it too!..u cud also try a big family get togetha..maybe at christmas..invite his kids n ur kids ova..n see how it goes..good luck..freind x
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