A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a guy for a few weeks. I really like him but I am not sure about his best friend who is female. She is bipolar and seems to rely on him a lot as her husband is not a great communicator. They have known each other 20 years and he says she is like a sister. He had a few drinks when he was telling me how her parents hoped he would marry her. He said its never been a romantic friendship. Her husband was not keen on their friendship but has accepted it. He has now rented an office and is starting up a part time business with his female friend and was telling me he needs to look for a xmas present for her. They just seem too close. I have trust issues and red flags are flying.He says I should trust until have reason not to. How do I overcome these feelings at such an early stage. He wants me to meet her but I am not sure I want to.
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female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (22 November 2015):
I have a couple of male friends that I have a close relationship with. They have been there for me when I needed them most. I wouldn't trade them in for the world or another man who "thinks" something is going on.
Good Luck
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (21 November 2015):
 My best 100% platonic friend of nearly 10 years was male and yes he was like my brother. People can and do have these kind of relationships. My advice would be to meet her and see for yourself. If there is anything for you to be doubtful about Im sure it would be evident in their body language.who knows you may even find a good friend in her yourself. Give her and him the benefit of the doubt because making waves without reason could see your relationship coming to a swift halt. I think it's fair to set some boundaries should things develop into a serious relationship however. Like any relationship, romantic or friendship, there has to be fairness and respect. Boundaries for example, socialising without you or spending too much time together etc. I think it would be a VERY big mistake to be drawing lines in the sand based on what you have posted.
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A
female
reader, Mina_Bhamji +, writes (21 November 2015):
 Meet her, see what she's like, observe her behaviour etc. Cause if he is saying they're just friends and have been for years, then they must be. From there you can make your decision on whether you're ok with them being friends. For him to be comfortable and speak about her openly with you shows he's not hiding anything which is a good sign. If you're not content, just say you would want a bit of distance between the two because you're not super comfortable about it, he might end up understanding
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2015): I don't trust ANYONE who starts saying someone of the opposite sex is "like a sister" or "like a brother." That only works if they're actually related. I'm old fashioned, but I don't believe in too-close friendships with the opposite sex while dating someone. I see it as disrespectful if the person you are dating displays discomfort with it. Sounds like he has come confused feelings about her that he isn't admitting to himself.
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