A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started dating a girl, pretty seriously (commitment to each other) shortly before college vacation.We have now been apart about 2 months, with approx 1 more month to go. We are thousands of miles apart.I rarely use Facebook, but when I today did I came across photos of her with her ex (and possibly another guy she dated for a while, not sure if it's him or not) taken recently. They looked very lovey-dovey together.They both apparently have huge circles of friends, which overlap a great deal. In other words, I don't think they have to make a concerted effort to see one another, they just share the same group of friends. That is not to say that they don't make a concerted effort.The thing is though, for whatever reason, I don't care. I hardly ever think of her so, in my eyes, she can do whatever she wants; I just don't care.I only care that I don't care, if that makes sense.When we talk, we never say I love you any more because I'm pretty sure that for both of us, that has faded -- and to be honest, I'm not so sure it was tremendously strong in the first place.Forcing myself not to be indifferent is becoming rather exhausting though... I'm a very driven person who works hard in school and gets good grades. It is strange not caring about something that seems as if it should feel very important.So, what should I do?Hold out for another month and see how it goes? Maybe the spark will return when school starts again, I'm not saying it couldn't...
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2013): I totally agree with CMMP.
You may also want to take a break in between relationships, and just date. You might want to focus on your studies, and just enjoy being single for awhile.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (19 July 2013):
Unless you really have something to hold on to, I don't see the point in staying with her. It seems like it's only a matter of time until you break up; might as well be sooner than later so you can possibly find someone who really works for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2013): You don't care; because you're hoping she moves on and finds someone else subconsciously. You just don't want to go through the process of breaking up.
You're very young, and that is how most young romances end. I guess you don't realize how common your situation is. You just slowly grow apart. Sounds like she's having a ball.
It's good that you're not possessive, or jealous; and know how to use your time wisely. You have drive and you prioritize your life well. You now have the time to focus on other things that are important to you. That's a good thing.
The time apart will give you the space to think about what to do next.
Don't beat yourself up over the indifference. You both just needed some breathing space. You needed some independent time to do things you like, to have some fun. Be young!!!
Then you can decide if you want to stay together or move on; after some considerable thought and time to be individuals. In fact, it's quite healthy for the both of you.
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