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female
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anonymous
writes: hi everyone,im really fed up with my boyfriend and in need of some advice. iv been with my him for 8 month,i really dont know how we have lasted that long to be honest!!!!! he is 2 year older than me but not wanting to sound big headed i am a lot more clued up about things than he is.he lives with his parents and doesnt have a clue about anything like ironing,washing,cooking etc and it really pisses me off.he comes across as a real mammys boy.whereas i live with my nana and have a 4 year old son,i am more independent.my boyfriend seems happy to live this life,letting his parents slave around after him which makes me think that i NEVER wanna live with him.he rarely smiles and goes in at least 4 moods a day,he is pathetic.he is never seen without a can of lager in his hand,when he comes in from work he goes straight for a can,then another and another untill its time for bed.my nana says he will never change but to be honest i dont think i can stay with him much longer to see if he will change. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (22 March 2006):
 people dont change, they can develope in areas but he will never change, and you cant make people change, maybe let him know that your irritated that he does not take more responsibility and your finding yourself withdrawn from the relationship because of this, i was the same as your man, i moved out of home, my parents did everything for me,i moved in with my man and i didnt know how to anything so i didnt do it, we almost broke up unil he went off and told me how upset he was with me being so lazy, the relationship ment so much to me and i knew if i didnt get up and make an effort id loose him, so i made the choice to become more indipendent, this saved our relationship, so my point is maybe tell your man about your feelings and he might open his eyes and make an effort, but its his choice he has to want to do it or it wont last, but if he really wants it to work he will make the effort.
A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (21 March 2006):
 You have answered your problem,you dont want to stay with him and his traits irritate you.You could wait forever to see if he will change,but i reakon you would die of boredom.You are just not suited to him ,full stop.Walk away now before you end up throttling him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2006): Well if you have such a big problem with this, then break up with him. What is the biggest reason people stay together with their 'partners' when there are fermenting problems? The biggest reason is obligation or pity. Do you feel obligated to him or do you feel pity towards him? No love eh? Don't even like him? So what's making you stay?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2006): Hi there - you say you need some advice but I think you've answered you're own question!
In my opinion, this guy might be lovely, kind and caring - but if he can't look after himself, you're never going to respect him, are you?
You've got two options: either a) break up with him straight away, or b) tell him what's bothering you and see if it makes a difference. The first option sounds like the most sensible thing in my mind, BUT you can't break up with someone unless you're sure it's the right thing to do - so make sure you are certain before you pull the plug.
If you still have doubts when you go to make the break, you'll only end up getting sucked back in a few days/weeks/months later, and that'll only prolong the agony.
Good luck!
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