A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im going to rephrase this question, as Im not seeing any responses yet with the other one. My fiance of 4 years and I have recently just moved in with each other and we both have one child each of our own. I snooped (wrong I know) and found a letter postmarked last year that clearly stated that he had been cheating. I brought it to his attention last night and he after persuasion admitted to sleeping with her and doing it every time we would break up. He repeatedly says he never cheated..I dont believe him! I understand that people can change but really what are the chances on him? He wont even tell me the real truth or so he says he is telling the real truth! I made him sleep on the couch and told him I wasnt sure if I could get over this, that I would need some time, I need some help here please, I feel like Im going crazy, I dont want my life in an upheave but I dont want to think this is ever going to happen again, how would I or could I get over that issue?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): Personally i have been cheated on 3 times by 2 different husbands. The first time we were both young and I forgave him. The second husband cheated on me twice and in the end I had to get rid of him. He couldn't change and would lie constantly to cover his whereabouts. I would show him incontraversible evidence like a hotel bill with Mr and Mrs on it and he would still say it was a typo, he'd lent the room to a friend etc etc. He never changed and the older he became the worse he got. I couldn't trust him and I had to let him go. Personally from my experience I think men often talk a good talk but actions speak louder than words and they don't change- they just become more secretive and better at hiding things. As soon as they start taking their phone everywhere with them inc the loo and putting under pillow etc then you know they are cheating. If he won't give you the real truth and answer all your questions then he is still hiding something. i appreciate I sound very pessimistic but I can only comment on my experiences and that has led me to believe that men do not change. I would move out for a while or get him to move out and see how you feel without him. Obviously if you do that then you won't know if he is cheating but do you want to be with a man that you doubt and have trust issues with anyway?
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