A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel at cross roads in my relationship. I have been seeing and older woman for two years. We had a rocky start due to her constant lies over her spending time with her ex which resulted in lack of trust on my behalf still even now. I have always been honest and put her first as that's the person I am when I am in a relationship with someone. I am too kind and romantic for my own good half the time as people always walk all over me. I thought she was different due to her being 20odd years older I thought she would know what she wanted but half the time it feels as if she doesn't went me. I do have insecurities and she always blames me and that I am insecure but all I want is to spend time together and be close. Whereas she would rather be doing stuff seeing friends or work instead of me if it came to the choice and it s hurtful. I want to further our relationship to feel some security again, know she does want me after months of....I do want you, I don't want you etc. But we never turn that corner, she doesn't seem to understand why i have a problem when we don't spend time together or talk...she just goes cold on me then blames me for everything, saying I am insecure or making a big drama out of things just because I haven't accepted what she wants. She appears to live a life of relationship with me for a few months then suddenly things change and it's like a single life and just leaving me hanging wanting to go out with friends or spend time on her own, not bothering to call or text or even tell me general stuff about her day and work and goes all secretive. I try to talk about it but she never listens. I ask if there is someone else but all she says is its all my fault for causing this in the first place. I don't understand, am I doing something wrong? I just want someone to listen and please help me
View related questions:
her ex, insecure, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (26 November 2015):
It sounds that you may be a stay-at-home personality while your girlfriend is more of an out-and-about personality. This is a fundamental difference that defies compromise.There is not much you can do without getting out of your comfort zone and having a bigger life outside the home.It seems as though she cycles thru periods of neglecting you. Even though she is out and about, she should be giving you more attention such as loving texts and that sort of thing. She doesn't like your nagging or insecurities and does not place much value on your relationship. She's sees you as a nuisance. The outlook for this relationship is not good...you are not going to patch this up. As difficult as it may be, it is time for you to move on and find someone who better suits your own personality.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (26 November 2015):
 I can understand your disappointment. One always hopes to get out of a relationship what one puts in. The trouble is your partner wants something different to you, and I have to tell you that probably won't change.
When you have invested two years in your association it might seem easier to carry on and accept what you have.
I think it is going to be better in the long run for you to withdraw from this situation, and eventually find someone who is right for you.
It may be painful at first but I think you will better off in the end.
...............................
|
