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writes: Please help, I'm 19 and desperately in love with a guy of 18. The problem is he is still in school and I am finished, I am afraid that he will decide not to go to College in favour of staying near me. So i'm thinking of ending things. It is hurting me to think this way but I dont want to stand in the way of his future. Am I thinking rationally? Or am I just avoiding commitmtnt? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2006): sounds too familiar. 25 years ago, when i was 20 finished college and worked full time i met an 17 year old guy who was just finishing high school. i really liked him and he really liked me but he was too young and i don't want to ruin his future..to make it short i was too ambitious and selfish to understand what real love is then. i was looking for an older man, matured and stable. at age 21 i married a 28 year old man. the much younger guy was devastated and never heard from him again. my 20 years of marriage ended 4 years ago. now guess what, i found out the much younger guy who is now 42 (and i'm 45) has always been single all these years. we met again and he told me i was his first love and he's waited these years. sweet guy.. had i considered and thought of his feelings and mine then i would have been married to him still until now. did i make right choices and decisions ? maybe and maybe not !! ..and now i'm scared .. my last word is follow your heart and your guts.. peace
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2006): I was looking for any help myself with this one, my girlfriend is planning to go to university next year in birmingham and we currently both live near london, but i'm on the other side, she is the one who is worried about what will happen if and when she goes, i spoke to her today about it, we've decided to stil stay together, and cross tht bridge when we come to it, all though it's cheered me up a bit, i still don't think it's the end of it. i was really upset about it, try weighing up the pro's and cons of breaking up now and see what comes out on top, i've decided it's not the best decision cause if we have to be friends, i'd rather it be that way while she's a few hundred miles away than 7 minutes down the road.
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reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (5 October 2006):
 You sound like a very mature and thoughtful person to consider doing such a sacrifice. Most people wouldn't be able to do this.
To be truly committed to a person you must have their best interest close to your heart and it sounds like you have that in abundance for this guy.
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reader, baby gurl +, writes (5 October 2006):
 hey u are thinking right but that doesn't mean u have to end the relatoinship.u should tell him how u feel about that and u want him to go to college and then yall both can think about what to do about it.hope this helps.good luck!
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