A
male
age
36-40,
*yn
writes:My problem, I've been in a relationship with my fiancé, for 2 years. We fight no more than normal, but when we do fight it's usually me getting completly fed up with the fact that she does nothing, no want or drive to work, she sits around and gets my place dirty and doesn't clean up anything till I practicly beg her to. I work long hours trying to get the bills payed, and go to school for a better job, I can't do it all and Ive been talking to her and trying to get her to help me out but she does it for a week and that's it! She goes right back to doing it! I've tryed every manner of talking to her and have been super forgiving. Now the twist, an ex of mine that I loved with all my heart and still do love comes back into my life. I've told her we broke up and she's just helping me get to work, but my fiancé thinks she's just a friend. We broke up about 5 months ago and just basicly got back together but with the same problems. I do love my fiancé but we keep drifting further and further apart. I feel distant from her, and like we are just friends. I dint feel close to her like I used to, we don't make love the same way, i don't feel connected, but I love her. But I have a chance to get back with my ex and have a relationship with her that we didn't have before because we are both more grown up then the last time we were together. What do I do!?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): i think this ex is clouding your judgement and you think you love her if you did you wouldnt be making your current partner behaviour an excuse to end things and thats all i see here, look before you leap
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (23 July 2009):
 You live with a lazy freeloading woman, kick her out and hopefully that will sort her out.
The ex is a nice temptation but give your self a break, take some time out (yes I know everyone tells you that)I dont think you know what you want and your head is all mixed up and full of work, work and then home work and stress, so get rid of Miss Lazy she will never make a good wife and will always stay home on her arse while you allow it. Go for a drink with ex now and again and take it real slow, you have a life time ahead so dont do everything now, you have just learnt that you dont know someone until you live with them and relationships are complex as are peopel, so chill and enjoy a tidy flat to your self.
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