A
female
age
30-35,
*ysterium
writes:Hi all,I liked this one guy a lot a few years ago but he did not reciprocate my feelings then. We were really good friends at the time so it was really hard for me to get over him. I eventually moved to another city to pursue my education and I got over him, had a fun dating life and really grew as a person and we lost touch. A year ago (3 years later) he got back in touch with me and we started off as friends again but he told me a month ago that he really likes me and did so for a long time. I do like him still but trouble is that we're in different cities...we're far away from each other. Hes committed to make this work and I like that but I don't think I'm up for a long distance relationship. It's frankly torture for me to like someone and not be with them for months at a time. I do like him but I need this long distance to stop. But I fear I'm going to lose him now that he's into me.It really bothers my day to day mood and i constantly feel I'm in this unsure unsettling space. What do you think I should do? Thanks for replying!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 August 2016):
 I think you need to tell him that you don't want to do long distance. Be honest with him, and yourself. Being in a long distance relationship is very hard, and even more harder when you are both starting out in different cities, it is made easier sometimes if there is a foundation for the relationship and you have been together for years. I really cannot see this working out well for you, and I would hate to think you will get hurt from entering in to something you know is not right for you. Be honest with him and tell him maybe in the future if you are living in the same city you can meet up but for now it will not work.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (3 August 2016):
 I think you are right. It is unreasonable to put your life on hold for the vague promise of something in the future - who knows what?
It is a bit of an ego boost to know that someone likes you, but if he were that interested he would be on your doorstep begging.
Carry on with your life. It sounds like it was sorted before you got this uninvited proposal offering what?
You don't have to be mean to him but ask him, 'Honestly what are you expecting?
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (3 August 2016):
 You need to let go of him again. I'm in an LDR and they really are incredibly difficult, so if you're not up for it, you're not up for it. Sacrificing some of your day-to-day life because you'll be very sad about it isn't a good idea. Sure, lots of us do, but we're committed to it and you're not, which is okay - not everyone can do it and you don't know roughly how long it would last as long distance.
I'd let him go.
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