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male
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*regon
writes: I am in a relationship with a girl and we have been dating for 5 months. My girlfriend lives 70 miles away and I have been coming to see her by train.I had a month gap of not seeing her during the summer and at the moment i'm seeing her two days a week at her house and i stay overnight with her.I have asked her if she will come to visit me for a change rather than me visiting her and she said she doesn't want to.She is on her period so i don't want to pressurize her too much about this but i feel unless she starts coming to visit me occasionally i can't continue our relationship.what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006): Youre very patient. Im in a long distance relationship too, different countries, and we see each other every two weeks. We used to take it in turns to visit, but as I am living with my parents at the moment I go to see him most of the time - but he pays every other time. It has to be a balance I think, or you will find yourself resenting her. And she may start to take you for granted.
It seems to me that maybe you treat her with kid gloves?? You have gone to see her every time without question - and you dont want to talk to her about it as she has her period?? She isnt a china doll. She is capable of an adult relationship and therefore doesnt need to be treated like a child. Im sure she is quite capable of getting on a train and coming to see you, period or not. good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): Hi there,
I have had a boyfriend who lived about 95km away from me and I was the one who did most of the travelling also. I got to the same point as you, asking myself if this was really what I wanted. I asked him about why he would never come and see me and there were several different issues that I had not really thought about: He was scared each time he had to meet my parents, he did not have access to a car and public transportation wasn't great at all. Also, I was the one who moved away and he did not know my new town really well.
So speak to her and see if there are issues such as that involved or if there is more to it than that but even then talking would be your best bet.
Good Luck!
Canadian girl
P.S. Its very sweet that you're not pressuring her during her period but we girls can still talk even if we have it:)
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