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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I am a married man in late 20s, married my girlfriend last year everything was is well. We have been together for years and have 2 kids. Recently I got to know another girl in my workplace. We became really good friends, just friends that's all... my wife met her etc. Eeverything was good. We would email each other at work, then go for dinner. The problem is she has moved far away now, and I doubt I will see her again, though we send the odd email to each other. I really really miss her and think about her day and night... I think I liked her more than a friend. I want to stop thinking about her but I can't, and my wife notices I am a little sad recently, but I don't want to tell her the reason as she might think I had more with this girl than friendship and we never we was just good friends and liked each other's company.What would you advise? I need to get her out of my head? How do I forget about her when I feel so strongley about this girl and miss her so much?Life has never been so difficult...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2005): It's ok to miss a friend but you are over doing it. I think you need to look at your marriage and possibly work at making it stronger. You should be thinking of your wife day and night..not this friend. That's a bit unhealthy to your ongoing committment toward your wife. If you continue to think of this friend like you have been-you are clearly looking for trouble and I advise you to call a halt to it. My suggestion is let "sleeping dogs lie" and try hard to limit your contact with this girl. You've overstepped your boundries. It's highly likely your friend doesn't even realize you have these feelings and there's a good chance you would lose her as a friend if you told her you had stronger feelings. Take a step and try to calmly assess the situation so that you're fully aware of what exactly you stand to lose if you continue to contact this friend.
This is a dangerous situation because you've lost sight of what a platonic friendship really is. You married you wife
because you love and honor her...do the respectable thing and keep honoring your wife. keep thinking of the potential consequences. I'm sure that will keep you well grounded and will put all thoughts of anything intimate with this friend out of your mind, forever.
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