A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:im 21 and ive only really been in one serious relationship, when i was in that relationship (from i was 14 to i was 18) we had talked about having children and i really wanted kids because i was settled and living in my own home with my partner but i never got pregnant. Then we split which was a sort of sign to me that i wasnt ready to have kids. From then on i just never really wanted children, i love enjoying my life going out every weekend drinking with my friends, going ot parties staying out all night. But lately my best friend has just had a baby, she shared the same views as me on children however accidentally fell pregnant! And seeing her with her new daughter it has made me realise that i do want children however im not in a relationship. I want to be a young mum so that i get to enjoy most of my kids lives, and i feel myself trying to rush into relationships with men i dont even want a realtionship with. I dunno if im just jealous of my friend because shes now found herself a new boyfriend and now they've got a house and a new baby and i kinda envy her life. Its really not in my nature to act this way as im usually a really out going person but now ive found myself getting depressed an awful lot and when i look at the way my life is headed im just so sad because its heading nowhere. All i worry about is where im heading at the weekend and where the party is. Most of my friends now are settled down with children and i find myself making friends with people younger than me, i dont know if its a good thing or not. My closest friend at the minute is only 18 and shes briliant, but i sometimes feel too old for her company.help would be appreciated
View related questions:
best friend, depressed, jealous, want children Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (18 May 2009):
 You can still be a young enough mum to make the most of your kids lives. Most women get broody when their friends have babies, it's lovely to watch that mother/child relationship but that isn't all there is to it. Would you be so envious of the sleepness nights, dirty nappies, stretch marks and endless crying? You're doing exactly what you should be at 21, going out partying and having fun. I was pregnant at 16 and I love my daughter more than anything in the world, but I didn't get to do what you're doing now, you're really lucky. Wait a while, live a little and when you do have children you'll be glad that you had a life for yourself first. x
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 May 2009):
I think a new baby can look great as they have a new house and all the new baby stuff and everyone is happy for them and she's off her face on hormones so you get a warped picture.
A few of my friends have done the whole marriage and kids thing recently and they do seem really happy.
But then I talk to them about wanting to go travelling and careers and going out and having fun in life and they smile and nod and then change the subject back to babies.
I think what you need to do is take this as a sign that you want something new and exciting and good in your life.
A baby is only one example of this, and it poos and screams.
Why not look at travelling, or what you'd like to achieve career wise by the time you hit 21. Or you could look for a house you'd love to buy and work at getting a deposit for that.
Some people are baby people and want to settle down and stay indoors for the next 20 years, some people are adventurers and want to do great things.
Meet some new people, get some new hobbies, join a new club and then you can see both sides and pick which one you want.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
