A
female
age
30-35,
*afegurl
writes:Last year I met a man in a bar. He was handsome, sweet, very loving father. We were seeing eachother for almost six months. I met his friends, stayed the night at his house, met his children (who were sweet but being from a divorced family myself, they just knew me a daddy's friend. we weren't talking marriage, so why tell them more?)and we went on dates. He was an amazing guy. I found out;however, that i was the other womanand he was still with (though not married) his children's mother. No one told me. He played it well. It wasn't untill he made one off hand comment I caught on. I felt terrible. All their friends knew about me, though I never met her so i'm not sure if she knew. When I found out I simply told him I was done. I didn't throw a fit. I didn't fight or yell. I didn't go to their home and tell her. I didn't ask his friends why no one told me. I just walked away. My theory was why should I let the sh*t hit the fan and be labled as a homewrecker when I didn't know and ruin her family? Did I do the right thing or should I have told her?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 You didnt no so you should be labeled a home wrecker he is the one that done wrong here not you. I think it was probably best you didnt tell her as this would have just made you feel twenty times worse as she would have really gave you a hard time i can imagine so it was probably better that you did just walk away. Its done now and you cant change it and you shouldnt blame yourself as you are just as much a victim in this as his girlfriend. Just avoid all contact with this man and move on and forget that it ever happened.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): You did the best you could at the time.
Anyone could argue the other side of this.
Do what you would hope someone would do for you in the situation if you were his gf and she was the other woman.
I can tell you, from personal experience, that I wish someone had told me...instead nobody told me shit but probably spent a lot of time talking about it, which I've seen plenty of times.
It's would probably help her to know that you honestly didn't know and what you did when you found out. You can't ruin her family, he did that.
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