A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About this time last year I started speaking to a girl on an online dating website. We talked pretty freely and I was genuinely starting to like her. We had begun to make preparations to meet for a date, when I got an offer to move abroad for work.I decided to take the offer, and in the process, told her that I felt it'd be unfair for us to go through with going out together. I was set to move and felt it was probably best that we not begin a relationship before I moved away permanently. While I tried to be level-headed about it, I came away from the whole situation feeling like I probably could have handled things much better. Looking back on it, I felt like I'd maybe panicked a little bit and not being the most confident person when it comes to relationships, I probably felt like she could do better than a long distance relationship with me. Things didn't work out abroad, and now I'm heading home in a couple of weeks. I've seen that she's still active on the same site (I kept using it myself while I've been away). I'm interested in getting back in touch, but I'm wary. We're from a small town, so there's not a lot of people around in the first place. Given that I probably didn't handle things so well before, I'm not sure how to reestablish contact. I'm not sure if I even should. Is there any way to do so? Should I just stay away?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2015): No harm in establishing contact again. It sounds like you didn't handle it as badly as you think when you left. She may be wary that you'll be flaky with her but don't take it to heart. The worst thing she can do is say no. Good luck!
A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (7 July 2015):
 If you told her what you told us here, I don't see how you handled things badly. In fact I think you were reasonable and honest.
So continue being honest. Like Honeypie says, contact her when you're back and settled and see where it goes.
People do this all the time. You did nothing offside or out of the ordinary.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 July 2015):
 Why not MAN UP and contact (AFTER you get home) and BE honest with her? That the job didn't work out, that you STILL thought about her and that you may have panicked a little a year ago?
The "worst" that can happen is that she tells you "no thanks".
At least you will have tried.
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