A
male
age
41-50,
*suk2002
writes:my girlfriend recently ended it with me, to be exact on new years day.the problem started from day one really, we werent allowed to be together as she was my support worker and i was her client, code of ethics, it just wasnt allowed but you cant help who you fall for, right?anyway we had a secret relationship for 6 months and she ended it on new years day saying that she cant keep the secret anymore, she also went into work and told them about us, now i have been kicked off there help programme and she has been fired.the dilemma if she want to continue to be a councillor she needs to end all communication with me or she will be struck off, now she hasnt cut all communication and some days she is really nice to me and other day she isnt, but she wont hardly meet me cos she knows the attraction is too strong and i will convince her were good together, which she has admitted.now i have been going on quite needy and i really want her back, im in so much pain without her, this was true love for me and i miss her so much, i really do and she causes me pain everyday. i dont want to move on from her cos she is one of a kind and non of this was my choice, i didnt get a say in anything about this breakup, everything goes her way and its killing me, i have everything taken from me over night, like my home and confidence and esteem and i lost her, now i want it all back.someone please help and serious advice only please!thank you very much
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): Unfortunately, no one ever has a say when they think things are going well and then their partner breaks up with them. I find her reasoning for breaking up with you to be a bit flawed. Why would she say she can't be with you because she doesn't want to keep things secret anymore, but then tell everyone about it anyway? Why not just stay together then? Perhaps what she told you and the real reason she ended it are not the same. She may have been just trying to spare your feelings. Don't be too needy about wanting her back because all you will do is driver her further and further away from you. Give her some space. Let her figure out for herself what she wants to do without you putting a ton of pressure on her that will only stress her out more. I know it feels like you can't go on right now, but you can. Go out with your friends and keep yourself busy. Adopt new hobbies. Do anything to get your mind off of her and get over her, because there is always the possibility that she won't want to take you back. Things don't always work out the way we plan, but when you fall down you just have to get right back up again and keep moving forward. I wish you the best of luck and I hope everything works out for you!
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