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I didn't even notice he was cheating on me .......

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Family, Friends, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 May 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 May 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My ex cheated on me repeatedly throughout our relationship, until I had a bad car crash and spent a long time recovering. He would later tell me that it made him realise what he had and he didn't want to lose me. I thought everything was going great, I had recovered well, I was back at work and we were going from strength to strength. It was only after this I found out about his repeated one night stands while he went to his brother's house. I only found out when one of these girls sent me a message on facebook asking how long I had been with my boyfriend. I was really confused and she then told me that she had found him on facebook and noticed that he had a profile picture of us together at the time she had slept with him. She claimed she only wanted me to know....ect.

When I confronted him he admitted it straight away, well he admitted about her, but then told me more as we talked. He told me that he found it hard to change his ways, and that my hours at work meant we hardly saw each other at times.

To be honest our break up wasn't that bad, he tried to save it but there was no way I could stay with him. I feel stupid for not seeing it before it was thrown in my face. My ex is still in my life, as we have a lot of mutual friends. We still talk when we do see each other. I just feel like every time I see him I'm reminded that I spent so much time working or with friends or family that I didn't notice my boyfriend was cheating on me. It's really getting me down, and its constantly on my mind.

View related questions: at work, cheated on me, facebook, my ex, one night stand

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (14 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntHow convenient for HIM to blame HIS cheating on you and your job! And what a load of horse manure!

HE CHOSE to cheat because he didn't RESPECT the relationship and though he "deserves" as much sex ans he could get. THOSE ARE HIS choices and his actions - they HONESTLY had nothing to do with you.

DO NOT OWN his actions.

I had a BF who cheated on me with SEVERAL girls (at the same time) and I had no clue, he was VERY good at juggling everything. Cheaters don't walk around with a flashing neon sign over their heads saying CHEATER! (wish they did though, life would be so much easier...!)

SO again IT IS NOT your fault he cheated and it's NOT your fault you didn't know.

Let it go. Let him go. He wasn't a quality BF when it come down to it. He was just an immature dude.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2015):

just be glad you didnt get STD or HIV...and drop him like the stone he is.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (14 May 2015):

Honeygirl agony auntHon, his actions are his actions to own. Nothing you did could have changed his mind.

He is and always will be a selfish person. You are definitely better without him. The feelings you are having is because you would never cheat on him and you believed that he would never cheat on you either.

Be kind to yourself. You are not to blame for his shortcomings NO MATTER WHAT HE BLAMES YOU FOR! This is his fault and he is responsible for his own actions.

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