A
female
age
36-40,
*atiexkx
writes:hi I'm Katie, I'm 20 years old and was in a relationship for the past year and half, I loved my partner very much and I decided I would not carry on my career I have always wanted to do so I could make it work with him, as I would have never got to see him. We used to see each other every day and he loved me, he always told me he would do anything for me. He would buy me gifts when I was down but most of all he would kiss and cuddle me and show me love and affection then nearly 2 weeks ago he told me he had to go away with his job and I would only see him weekends. I was upset and couldn't stop crying. I wasn't sure whether it would work and I knew he had always wanted to try for the army but our relationship was stopping him so I said to him why dont you try for that as we may not work anyway which I didn't mean cos I didn't realy want him to go, I was just thinking of him. The next day I rang him and he told me he was applying for the army, and I said to him what do you want more, me or your career? He said it is hard but he had to choose his career otherwise he would never get nowhere in life. I was so upset I finished it as I said to him well if you loved me that much you wouldn't do this. I called him a few days later and said I wanted to stick by him as I have made a mistake, but he said he can't take it no more, me threatening to finish with him, he said he is doing what he wants now going out with friends and has his mind on his job, he also said he thinks he was too young to settle down, but he still loves me and will never forget me. I really don't know what to do. I really want to call him but I'm scared that he will say the same thing. Also I did ask to see him this weekend but he never called me. I feel like my world is ending as all my friends have boyfriends and now I have no one. I'm scared I won't meet someone like him again, if there is anyone who can give me advice about what I should do please reply, thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): First of all Katie, I am sorry you are feeling bad, I know this is painful and hard for you....but in truth, I think your boyfriend is right, you both may be too young to settle down, and he needs to focus on having a career if he ever wants to get somewhere in life....and so do you.
You say you gave up your career for a boyfriend? Reading that, does that seem very smart to you? This man is not your husband, he hasn't promised to help support you and live with you forever, you need to do what is best for Katie, and right now that is getting your head back into making some good choices about your future goals.
Get back to school if you need to do so, or get back to work on the career you love, husbands die, and husbands sometimes leave, we women need to be 100% whole in ourselves before we can let someone else love us and we can love someone else fully....timing is everything in relationships....you don't need to feel that you have an open position of boyfriend to fill, you need to enjoy your singlehood and enjoy your freedom and figure out who Katie is standing on her own two feet, and then you will attract a quality guy who wants to be with you and hang the moon for you.....Hang in there, things will work out with or without him! And no you may not meet someone just like him, but you are one step closer to possibly meeting someone better for you.
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