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age
26-29,
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writes: hey so i am in a very promising relationship with my boyfriend we have know each other for 10 years and are very smitten and in love , but sometimes he gets really jelous if other boys like me or even talk to me he has rules like i cant wear short shorts without tights and i cant go to a party without him if there are boys there. i know why he is like his because when we first went out he really pissed me off so i got really drunk and then rung him up and told him i was gonna cheet on him but i didnt he broke up with me fair enough and then a few weeks later we started seeing each other again this time not so official and then again i betrayed his trust but this was because a boy forced himself on me and kissed me i tryed to pull away but he held me there, but my boyfriend didnt see it like that. he got angry andwe didnt talk a few weeks later we got back together and still are its been about 3 month since we got back together and we are very very happy i just feel like he still doesnt trust me which i get but i want to show him i have changed i love him so much i really really do !!just help me show my man i love him
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have amazing news i told him i was upset about it and he has told me as long as i dont drink its fine thats when the bad things happen !!
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female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (29 August 2012):
Is he a 'man' or is he a child? He is acting like a child.
He is being controlling.
He is blaming you for being held down and forcibly kissed by another guy. (what if you had been raped? Would he blame you for that as well?!)
Since he is not willing to trust you, it is time to break up with him. This aspect of his character will not change with time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2012): First and most important thing in a relationship is love, you have that. The second most important thing is "TRUST", and there seems to be a lack of it on his part in your relationship.
I know you try and use past breakups with him as an excuse for his jealousy and insecurity, but let's be honest, you said (although didn't) you were going to cheat on him, then you said a guy forced himself onto you and you had no choice but to let him kiss you, neither of these cases were "actually" cheating (If you're being honest about trying to resist that kiss and that's all it was). I think all this has done is reveal that he's a naturally jealous, insecure and controlling individual, which isn't a good thing in a relationship.
As for other guys liking you, that's something that should make him feel proud and think "Ha ha I know you want her but you can't have her, she's already chosen me", not get all jealous and start writing out a rule book for you on what you can and can't do, where you can and can't go with or without him, or what you can and can't wear.
He may think he's making sure he doesn't lose you to another guy, but all this behavior is going to do is get worse and eventually to the point where it makes you hate and resent him for not allowing you to be who you want to be.
The best way he can make sure he doesn't lose you EVER, is to trust you and let you have your freedom to be happy and allow you to be who YOU want to be... Otherwise like I've said, you're going to feel trapped and suffocated, and sooner or later you will want free of him to be able to do as you want to do and be happy.
Honestly you need to have a serious talk with him, and try and get him to trust you and to stop trying to control you in an attempt to keep you. He needs to realize that all this is going to achieve the very thing he's trying to prevent, and that is losing you. And in the end the only person he has to blame is himself.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (29 August 2012):
 You are wrong about so many things here. This relationship isn't nearly as promising as you think. Not if it continues the way it's been. Your boyfriend doesn't impose rules because you have 'betrayed' his trust. You haven't even 'betrayed' his trust. And who the hell wears shorts with tights? Your boyfriend doesn't really trust anyone. He doesn't feel comfortable in any situation unless he is in charge, but he can't admit that without looking weak and he can't very well boss everyone around without looking like a jerk or a weirdo. Can he?The only people who have the right to apply such rules are your parents and they haven't. They feed you, clothe you, provide you with a home, medical and dental care and an education, among other things. Your boyfriend provides none of that. Your parents' rules are designed to keep you safe and happy and maintain peace in the household. His rules are for his convenience, not your welfare. As a teenage boy he has no more life experience than you have. He is not an expert on relationships or on women. Even if he'd had 5 girlfriends before you and you'd never had a boyfriend before him, he still doesn't know more than you do. Your boyfriend trusts you a great deal. He trusts you to stick around no matter how hard he makes your life. He trusts you to put him first and do whatever it takes to keep him happy. So this bit about detroying his trust is nonsense. It's a smoke screen designed to keep you feeling guilty so you'll put up with whatever he doles out. You're going to find life with him very stressful and very lonely, if you aren't already. Even when his rules seem simple, they are broad and can be twisted and stretched to include just about anything. You can't help but break them and you'll continue in perpetual probation, working that much harder to prove yourself to him. You can't even relax and be yourself with your girl friends because you must be constantly vigilant not to get caught up in the things they do that you aren't allowed to do (harmless things no one would think twice about), about saying the wrong thing and him finding out, or whether a guy shows up. As long as your boyfriend plays the aggreived party and as long as you're willing to remain on probation, he has all the power. And as you can see he's been abusing it. Either he takes you back as is or not at all.Threatening to cheat on him was childish and tacky so don't do it again. Not to anyone. He believes you though, when you tell him you haven't cheated. He trusts you far more than he's willing to let on. He's known you for 10 years so he knows what type of person you are. You don't need to prove anything to him.
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