A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My best friend has really let me down. It's been years of making and breaking promises, disappearing for months at a time without an explanation or a way to contact her, and the last time I visited her; she ignored me, became passive aggressive, and pretty much treated me like crap the whole time because I didn't say "thank you" for something (she wouldn't tell me what was bothering her until I got back home). She apologized for that after I moved to California; that was a year ago. This time around my boyfriend broke up with me in November and moved out in December, and the last time she calls me is January-- trying to convince me to meet up with a guy she knows 8 hours away and to start a relationship with him. The whole time I tell her I'm not ready for that, but she goes on like this for almost 4 hours. I don't hear from her for more than 3 months afterwords, and this whole time I really need someone to talk to about all the heartbreak stuff that comes with break ups, but every time i try to call her her phone goes straight to voice mail. She doesn't call me on my birthday. Finally a couple of weeks ago I decide to message her on myspace asking her what the hell was up with her and if she didn't want to be friends to let me know. She messages me back and says she's sorry about disappearing and that I'm her best friend and she cares about me even though she isn't good at showing it, that she's working on being a better person and that she wants me to forgive her. I tell her I'm sick of having a best friend I can't rely on, I ask her why she didn't call me. She messages back and said she didn't know my number since it's on a phone she is using for her internet connection. I than ask her why she didn't just message me on myspace to ask for it. She just says that she misses me and she's sorry. I don't answer back.I don't know what to do. I miss her, but I deserve better friends, and I don't understand how someone who says that I'm their only true friend but then breaks promises or ignores me for months at a time. She still hasn't asked for my number.Is there a way I can let her know that she needs to be a better friend? Should I forgive her? Maybe I'm too close to the situation to realize she's a bad friend... should I move on from this friendship?
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female
reader, Meeks +, writes (16 May 2009):
Honestly, I think the girls a beotch. Your best friend is always supposed to be there for you and definitely shouldn't make you feel like that. You do seem a little pushy about the friendship which may make her feel overwelmed. I think you've tried enough to get her to be a better friend. A true friend wouldn't have to be a better friend to begin with. I think you should move on with your life. You don't need a friend like that at all. If she makes you worry that much get over her. There's always better people out there. Goodluck to you!
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (16 May 2009):
 Stop wasting your time with this person. She obviously has no real care for you. It will be much better if you defriend her and move on
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): hmmm
life gets in the way of friendship, but the good news is you can just press pause and carry on. The very best friends are the ones you can catch up with later, release the pause and carry on from where you left off.
i would stop demanding of her and find someone else. She will always be a friend to you. But sounds like you need to spend your energy more constructively.
Star.x.
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