A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:After recovering from a very tough break up, I started becoming good friends with this new girl. We talked a lot and really hit it off and eventually I convinced myself that I really liked her and was ready to move on and into a new relationship. We've now been dating for about two months.Problem is that she thinks she's in love. She hasn't had too many serious relationships in the past, where I've had a few; the last one I was in lasted for years and I can truly say I was in love with her (I'd say I'm still in love with her, which is part of the problem) I tell her that its too early to think about that and try and be as sensitive as I can, but it only makes her upset that I don't love her back.Before we even dated I explained to her that I was getting over a long long relationship and would need to take things really slow. Apparently she thought two months was enough time. I know deep in my heart I still love my ex. I've told this new girl this (I want us to be completely honest with each other) and I've apologized dozens of times for getting her involved with me when I wasn't ready. I really do feel terrible; I really do like her and never ever wanted to hurt her.This is where we stand: I tell her that I have a LOT of baggage to get over and don't think I'm ready for a serious relationship. I know that she really wants things to be serious with us, which is something I've told her I just can't give to her right now. But she still wants to be with me. She says she can give me time and take things slow with me, but she'll turn around the next day and be upset with me for not being in love with her.Its really messed up. I do like her, but she just doesn't understand that you can't snap your heart on and off from different people. Its gotten to the point where I don't want this relationship any more; not because I don't care for her or that we don't have fun, but simply because her expectations of how I should be feeling about her after only two months really scares me.What can I do? I've tried explaining everything to her but she hasn't really experienced love before so I know she won't be able to really understand :/
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, amazingk +, writes (22 March 2011):
 You need to leave her alone, along with all other women, until you get your emotions sorted out. Your intention may not have been to hurt her, but regardless that was the outcome because you tried to move on before you were ready to and brought her into your mix.
Again, leave that girl alone and do not string her along with any false hope, or "someday" talk. Leave all women alone and take a hiatus from dating until the ex that you're still in love with is no longer a factor. That's the fairest thing for both yourself and everybody else.
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