A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year now, and we were best friends for almost 3 years. I am madly in love with her and I am pretty sure she is madly in love with me. I definitely think she is "the one"...However, recently, I have been getting these urges to cheat on her. I kind of want to cheat on her. I think there are a couple of things that may have caused this. First off, she was my first. She is the only person I have ever slept with so I don't even know what it's like to be with anyone else. Second, About 3 or 4 months into the relationship, she cheated on me with her ex(her first) and we broke up, but got back together. She isn't the hottest person walking the planet, but I don't mind the way she looks. I just really want to sleep with someone else. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): You need to break things off here to pursue your own needs so that the relationship isnt affected. Otherwise, you will risk a lot of drama. Good luck.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (18 January 2011):
If you really thought she was "the one" you wouldn't want to cheat on her. You even brought up her looks...which kind of says to me that you're looking for someone more attractive. Of course looks aren't everything, but she's cheated on you, you're not really "madly in love," and you're looking to see what else is out there. If she was "the one" you wouldn't care about what else is out there.
If you want to cheat that bad...it's more honorable to break up with her and go on your way. I know she cheated on you before, but two wrongs don't make a right. So, I say: break up with her and explore the other fish in the sea. In reality, you're very young and I think it's natural to want to explore. If she's your first everything and you're not 100% complacent with it, then she's not the one for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): She is NOT the one.
She cheated on you.
You are contemplating cheating on her (perhaps because you think you are justified since she did it first)
People have urges for other people even when they are in a relationship. You can't be faulted for the urges, but you can be faulted for how you deal with them. She dealt with those urges by cheating, you don't have to do the same thing.
My advice is to leave her. You are young and it's normal for you (and her) to want to explore your options. Give her and yourself sometime to grow up and explore your options in an honest way, not in a way that hurts each other. If she is in fact the one, she may come back in the future. You were friends first anyway.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (18 January 2011):
 If you were madly in love with her, you would be doing everything to fight this urge to cheat on her. Just fight it and let those thoughts fade like any other lustful urge. If you wish to sleep with other people, break up with her. That is the most decent thing you can do here. Her cheating should have nothing to do with these urges. Contrary to what you or others may believe but both partners cheating does not make anything even, it only makes things harder to live with. What happens if you do cheat on her? She finds out, her heart breaks, assuming you are madly in love with her, your heart will break when she says that she does not want to be in this relationship anymore. Then again, even if she does remain, you two wil not be able to trust each other. You would be inviting contempt into what will eventually become a broken and corrupt relationship. It is not worth the risk to cheat. You can either break up with her and do it, in which case she will not take you back if/when she finds out why you broke up with her or you can just forget about it, in which case nobody gets hurt and nobody suffers, everyone can just carry on living what seems to be a completely healthy relationship.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, Mio  +, writes (18 January 2011):
 i think if u want to have another break up again then do it, as i see, no woman like her bf share the bed with anyone besides them.
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