A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so me and my girlfriend an som other friends were hanging out. and my girlfriend was messing around playin with one of my other friends, and somthing hapened im not sure what but he ended up hiting her hard. i got up and hit him so hard tha my hand is in a cast right now. and there is no skin on my knuckles. she has a brues on her face now. but for some reason she dumped me after i hit him...why? i dont get it i mean i probly hert my self more than i hert him. and he said sorry and we are cool now. i mean im still aa bit mad at him but you know what im sayin. but like right after i picked her up off the ground she walked off. i just dont get it. what the hell's going on? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): mistake i made in my answer? you mean you have explained more things so that its easier to understand.... if i have insulted you then its not meant- what is meant is that you think.
- if you hit there are consequences. What doesn't makes sense for me is you hit him and you are friends afterwards. if it was that big a deal (which was to require you to hit with such force) - the dude who hit your girlfriend in front of you - you couldn't have stayed friends.
good luck, star.x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNobody is reading the question very well. MY fingers are broken not his. HE knew it was coming if he hit her NOT me. i did not add this but he did not say sorry till after i nailed him. he stood up in my face at first. and i DID help her up most of these are mistakes "OtherStarfish" made in his answer. just for the record we are back together now. she would not talk to me because i scared her. i will admit i dont know my own strength. but where i come from. if a MALE hits a FEMALE the MALE get hit twice as hard and deserves it. and please "OtherStarfish" I did not ask to be insulted. i dont go insulting you there s no reason for you to insult me. i asked for help on understanding what SHE feels not what you think is wrong with it. but thanks everyone for the you're time and answers
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male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (21 March 2009):
 I stand by what I said originally. Violence to prevent harm, not as retaliation you did wrong! And to our brave anonymous poster grow up mate! There maybe a time and place for violence but you obviously don't understand either!
Our posters punch came after the initial ASSAULT and not to prevent it Therefore it was RETALIATION NOT DEFENCE! Therefore not justified at all, breaking someone's fingers after the incident shows that you are a thug simple as! Preventing the assault in the first place would give us reason to respect.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): then why are you posting - to have your ego stroked?
if you knew it was coming why didnt you stop him - or did you want him to hit her so you could step in?
better to have prevented it.
i think it had happened so hitting him afterwards isnt actually helping her is it?
how was the friend afterwards was he apologising when you hit him? or was he about to hit her again. i suspect he was trying to say sorry.
you are the fool you could have helped the girl up made her feel better and told him not to do it again. but instead you lost everything. - well played.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell he hit her hard enough that she was dizzy when i scraped her up of the ground. but she wont talk to me at all when i try to talk to her.There is a line betwene accident hit (with one of those he would not have swung as hard as he did with his FIST) and a smack to the face. he crossed the line he knows me real well and knows that i dont take that kind of stuff, he knows my family and how i was raised. PURE R.E.S.P.E.C.The knew what was comeing. i dont think i did the wrong thing, because he crossed the line and thats how i am.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): She probably broke up with you to avoid having the reputation of having a crazy, over-reactive boyfriend. It was an accident, him hitting her, correct? If he didn't mean to, he didn't deserve to get punched in the face. That was a pretty dumb thing to do.
I for one, would not want a boyfriend who punched out his friends for an accident.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): Oh my god what are we a bunch of pacifist hippies now. There is a time and place for violence. Violence is not always the answer. Violence is a necessary evil and a part of this world and life. When a man strikes a woman he needs to be dealt with. Harshly and immediatley. NO ONE SHOULD EVER HIT A GIRL JOKING OR NOT. If someone hit my girlfriend in any kind of way she would be expecting me to individually break their fingers, and i would. But of course my girlfriend isn't a weak girl either. when i stick up or protect her she likes it. It makes her feel protected, secure, and important. But most girls are not fans of violence. The whole incident probably just sketched her out and she doesn't know what to do or think. But you should never apologize for protecting those who you care about especially your girlfriend. your a man its part of your job title. If she wants to leave over this then let her she isn't worth it. Next time you get put into this situation deal with the threat and then make sure your girl is ok and taken care of. you did the right thing don't second guess yourself.
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male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (21 March 2009):
Matching force with force never works, if you sorted him out without using excessive force it maybe different, but she has seen that your temper can just snap and that if anyone including her pisses you off you are likely to break your hand trying to hurt them.
Girls hate violence I understand why you did what you did, and I would probably have wanted to do the same thing myself, but not in front of my wife as I would never want her to see that side of me. If you had just restrained him and told him to lay off or face the consequences, she would see that you could protect her and remain in control.
The only time violence is justified is defence, if she had already been struck the punch you threw was not defence but retaliation, which is not controlled or justified.
Before punching someone stop and think are they still a danger to others around you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): Okay, first of all have you asked her why she broke up with you? It may have been because of something totally unrelated to the violence.
Perhaps your friend was flirting with her and tried to jokingly smack her but did it too hard. That would explain a lot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): violence leads to violence.
she walked because you were violent. you could have just stopped him, held him etc. but instead you hit him. why should she want to be with someone who hits? i wouldn't.
you are a grown up now. take responsibility for how you behave. if you get angry lots - find therapy or become a wrestler or similar.
star.x.
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