A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is a dumb non-living saving question. Me and a few of my new girlfriends, we've justed moved to another state, both my husband and I got new jobs. I was out with some of my girlfriends and since I'm the new one in the group they decided to play ask a ton of questions. They asked my how many guys I've slept with. I wasn't sure how to answer, so I declined to answer. I asked my husband and he said I should have said 1 since they were asking about sexual intercourse, not 'actual sleeping' with someone. I had 1 boyfriend that when his parents would go out of town, I'd lie to my parents and say I was at a girlfriends house, but I'd go to his house, and we'd play married. Never had sex, but did a lot of other stuff if you know what I mean. And I'd spend the night in his bed, but again no sex. Another one was just a friend who happened to be male, and a few times we'd have some pizza and beer (underage thrill, I know, I'd have 2 and feel sick), and I'd just crash on his bed, nothing sexual there either, well maybe I gave him a handjob a few times, but that's it. So I'm thinking I've slept with 3 guys, but my husband says I've slept with 1 guy, only him because the question is sexual in nature.Now that I didn't answer my girlfriends, I'm assuming they think a lot more than there is because I acted shy. Should I just come clean and tell them I'm a little bit ignorant on these things, and explain why I didn't understand. I think they'll laugh at me, but if they are really going to be friends, then thats OK.
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male
reader, bluekev +, writes (8 February 2009):
Wait why would they think you slept with more people. If you declined to answer wouldn't that mean more likely it was less. When my guy friends don't answer questions like this it usualy means they are virgins or close to it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): rhythmandblues2 missed the point of the poster.
1st, she has only had sexual intercourse with her husband, she clearly says that. I think you read the post way too fast. 2nd, I do agree it is silly girl talk, but many girls in their 20's (especially if they're single) do talk this way.
I think she should clear the air and tell them she only ever 'slept' with her husband. But she can explain that she was confused and just put it off as 'sleepovers' so she didn't really understand the question. I do agree though that as a married woman, she should avoid these discussions, but unfortunately, she is right, if you don't answer a question, then everyone else will assume the worst is the answer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): Well, I am from the old school. I never talk about this kind of stuff with my casual acquaintance type girlfriends, especially if I met them where I work. I think it is pretty immature of them to be giggling over how many sexual conquests they have had as if it is some sort of badge of honor and a contest.
I don't think you have anything to feel ignorant about...they are the ones that have shown their ignorance....and it is none of their gosh darn business. As far as your husband, I would go ahead and let him feel that he is the only guy you have had sexual intercourse with.....but whose counting anyway, you are married, you are no longer single and playing the field. These girls need to grow up.....but go ahead and listen to their silly dribble, they are trying to have some fun....but there is a lot of other girl talk that could be had.....like how many shoes have you bought this year, um week?
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