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I decided not to break up but then I discovered he watches porn, am I not good enough for him?

Tagged as: Cheating, Pornography, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 November 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2008)
A female Canada age 30-35, *ark-charmer.xo writes:

Okay so here is my story.

A few nights ago I told my boyfriend I think I needed a break to think things through then after I talked to him a bit about things (the biggest thing was that I wanted to have sex with one of my friends) and I realized that I loved him so much and I decided to stay. Then I was on his computer (while he was in the room) and I went to grab something out of the recycling bin and saw deleted porn. I asked about it and he said it was his friends and I knew he was lying (or atleast I had a hunch) so I checked his history. He was on porn sites. I asked if his friends had been there those days and he said he didn't know but it wasn't him looking at the porn. So then I showed him and asked him to explain it and then he was just like "Uh...well...okay it was me" so I got angry not just about the porn but the fact he lied to me.

I have asked him in the past to tell me anything and I would understand. I decided to stay with him but I don't know if I should. I feel hurt and heart broken. He said he looked at it all the time and that the porn I saw was a cut down for him when it was almost everyday! I just feel like I am not good enough for him and he says I am but I don't know anymore. Please I need advice...what should I do?

View related questions: a break, porn

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A male reader, TheBigVenti United States +, writes (18 November 2008):

I'm going to be frank with you, from a guys point of view. I'm going to go ahead and say basically every guy over...14? watches or had watched porn. It's a natural thing to be curious. It's not that you're no good enough. in this day and age, with technology ruling the lives of the masses, it's almost impossible not to look at porn from a mans perspective. It sounds like you intimidated him. you asked him if it was him looking at porn. obviously he's going to be embarrassed, being that you're his girlfriend. He wouldn't have lied about it if he knew you we're going to be completely fine with it. I'm not trying to justify the lie, just justifying the porn. Don't interrigate him about it, just accept that it's something he likes and something you don't understand. talk to him about how you don't mind it and it just bothered you that he needed to lie about it. Good luck

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