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I come home from my job and find my unemployed, porn-addicted but asexual to me, husband has done nothing but be on the computer!

Tagged as: Faded love, Marriage problems, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 May 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 May 2012)
A female Australia age 51-59, anonymous writes:

i am married for nearly 20 years with 3 teenagers. my husband and i have grown apart. i am the breadwinner of the family as my husband is too lazy to work and refuses to help me around the house. although we have not had sex for 9 years due to his anti depression medication and he explain that he couldnt feel sexual towards me and i understood the problem. we have been sleeping in separate rooms for many years due to my snoring. i caught him watching porn and he has not stop even knowing he has hurt me and now that he has stop his medication. i come home from a tiring work day and nothing is done at home but he still on the computer. i am so angry that the kids are listening to me ranting about their father. i am afraid i am not being a good mum to them.please help as i feel so alone as i dont have family here

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2012):

You're the bread winner in this home, stop paying the internet bill, he should be online looking for a job not porn, he is discussing... Why do you need him? He's not having sex with you, he's not working and he's not helping around the house. I would have put his a$$ out long time ago, you're already carring the heavy load so by putting his dead a$$ out will lighting your load. Your three teenagers are your family, he's a deadbeat...

I'm starting to wonder what in the heck is wrong with you... Sounds like you're the problem for allowing this type of behavior for all these years... once you put his dead a$$ out you will meet new friends... Put his dead a$$ out and don't worry about where he's going, that is his problem. Divorce his dead a$$ and make him pay you child support from the time those children were born.

Ray Charles and Steves Wonder can see that this man DOES NOT love you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2012):

Why are you allowing all this to go on?

Give that man 3 months....that's it...3 months to find a job, start being a contributing member of the family, get off his ass and be a father/husband, unplug the computer, remove it from your home and that's the end of that.

If you do not see an improvement, and he does not make any changes, then he needs to go....he is dead weight and he is pulling you way down.

Do your best to keep your kids out of this....regardless of his deadbeat lifestyle he has slipped into, he is still the father of your children and they should not have to be involved with all of this.

You are doing it alone raising four kids. Yes, I said four. And your three teenage kids are watching...they see all...is this what you want your children to learn? Do you want them to end up doing the same thing as they are seeing their father do and watching their mother allow it to happen?

You guys need to sit down and make a plan, set some goals, change what you are doing and how you are doing it...you can't keep living like this and he needs to be held accountable.

And further...it is absolutely unacceptable for him to be watching porn in the home where your teenage children live.

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A female reader, stonestaughtmetofly United States +, writes (20 May 2012):

Why on earth are you still in such a relationship? File for divorce or at least separate as soon as possible. From what you described there's absolutely nothing redeeming about your relationship with your husband. Why you stay is beyond me.

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