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female
,
anonymous
writes: i have been with my fiance for 6 years. he lives away due to him being in the army and it leaves my feeling a bit lonely. i love him very much and would never want to hurt him, but last night i had too many to drink and slept with my house mate who also has a partner.I cant believe that i allowed it to happen. my house mate has sworn that he wont say anything but i know secrets like this always come out. yet i also k ow that my fiance would end it straight away if he ever found out! i feel so guilty!
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reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (26 May 2006):
 I am in a similar situation with my now ex-fiance because I am the one who cheated and I confessed. It broke her and she left me. The hardest thing that I ever had to do in my life was to except that she was happy living without me. Its best to come clean and let him hurt now. The trust will be gone and all the I Love You's will seem bogus in his eyes but it will definitely take time for him to heal. I was with my ex-fiance for 6-1/2 years and felt dejected by her. Thats no excuse for my behavior just like being drunk and lonely is an excuse for yours. Hard as it is and trust me its hard but you must wrap your mind around the fact that you and him just might not make it. All you can do is let him know what is what and let him know that everyone makes mistake not matter how big it is a mistake nevertheless. Let him know that you still love him though it will be like a slap in the face to him but don't pressure him into being with you give him time and respect his space. 6 years is a long time to put into a relationship and he will realize that. Prepare yourself for the worst and hope for the best. Take it from someone who knows first-hand. From one cheater to the other good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2006): I'm sorry to sound harsh, but I think you should accept you've ruined the relationship.
You love him very much - yet - you betrayed his trust and had sex with your next door neighbour?
I'm glad you feel guilty - at least your human. Do the decent thing and tell him. He deserves to know what you have done. And if you don't... you'll wake up every day, full of guilt knowing you are keeping this lie from him. Could you really do that? Break his heart now, at least he'll respect you more.. one day.
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