A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think im addicted to anal sex, and even worse with men!Recently i was wastching some porn and they were having anal sex.I asked my gf if she wanted to try it, she eventually said yes.That night we tried it, lube and everything, all it made her do was scream and be in pain, but i did it untill i ejaculated.Because she didnt like it, but i did i decided to wtch it again on a porn dvd. This time it has some gay men having sex.So i tried searching on chat rooms to see if there was local. That night i met this guy, same age and we had sex, i loved it but i don't like the kissing and hugging, i love my gf, but i dnt know how to tell her.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): Ok, everyone here has weighed in on your actions with your girlfriend and the fact that you cheated.
I am mostly concerned that you are only 17 or younger and you think you are addicted to anal sex and you got the idea to have it with a man by some porn you are watching and you took steps to go to a chat room and hook up with some strange man.....I hope you used protection.
I think your self assesment is right on, you are addicted, and you are addicted to porn....you need some help in my opinion. I don't know if you are truly gay, only you know the answer to this question. I think it is very sad that you are turning your sexuality into nothing more than animalistic sex, this is really not healthy for you in my opinion, and you hurt your girlfriend while having sex with her, you objectify everyone you have had anal sex with, this is scary! Please seek some counseling with a therapist, ask you doctor for a referral, or go to recovering addicts meeting.
Do you use illegal drugs as well, my bet is that you do?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): I wouldn't go as far as calling him gay. Putting a label on someone just because he's had one sexual encounter with a man isn't accurately enougn yet.
As for telling your gf, well, you have a choice: A) never tell her, and hope to whatever invisible being you worship (or not) that she will never find out and hopefully you will change your ways and never do something like this again, or B) break up with her and find someone who actually loves anal sex, or C) don't break up with her, tell her that regular sex isn't doing for you and the worst got a hold of your hormones, and you did something inexcusable and cheated on her - you don't have to tell her whether it was a man or not, you can just tell her you cheated, and hope that she will over time trust you again and things can be fine and dandy or D) you can continue to cheat on her and never tell her, which of course would be the most immoral thing to do.
Now face the most likely events. 1) if she finds out, depending on how naive and/or how forgiving she might be (eg: Hilary Clinton), she will probably either leave your ass or stick with you for a little, but never forget nor forgive, and just leave you anyway, and/or 2) she becomes petty and cheats on you, causing a huge mess of stuffs, and/or 3) she leaves you and never talk nor see you again.
You did a wrong, and you're going to take responsibility. If not, then coming on here was simply a waste of time and effort on your part, and it would be the same for the people who posted here as well.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (9 March 2007):
 This is awful! How could you continue to do something to her that hurt her so much? That really made me upset to read your post. You need to have more respect for this girl you say you love and think about her needs, not just your own.
As or sleeping with the guy, I don't see the problem: you're obiovusly gay and don't love this girl so tell her and let her go. You won't be happy with her and she deserves more than to be in the dark for any longer. You're putting her at risk emotionally and physically and it has to stop.
I can't say anymore really. Hope she gets through this ok and realises she's worth more.
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 How do you think she is going to react? Hurt furious the list goes on and on. I think you are in a real situation here not only have you cheated on your gf but you cheated with a guy. When you did this with your girlfriend you said she screamed with pain but you kept going. This was a very selfish act as she clearly wasnt enjoying it. It doesnt matter if you didnt enjoy the kissing or hugging you still had sex with a man and you loved it. Will you ever enjoy normal sex with a woman again. I think you need to work out what you really want maybe you want both but will your girlfriend be ok with this probably not. If you tell her you will most likely lose her but i think in the long run you are doing her a favour. What will stop you doing this again. You have to tell her its only fair
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A
female
reader, Bella55  +, writes (9 March 2007):
You have to tell her! Its not fair. I hope you use protection, its important. Youre going to really hurt her by not telling her the truth. Do what you want, enjoy what you enjoy, but do not keep this away from your girlfriend.
Just be honest and tell her you wanted to experiment, dont expect her to stick around, not because of how you did it but because you cheated on her.
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