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I cheated on my current love with my first love

Tagged as: Cheating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 10 December 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Dear agony aunt,

Recently I have been on rocky waters with my fiance/father of my child. I have found comfort in my first loves mother whom I have always stayed very close friends with. After seeing her for a cup of tea and a chat about my relationship troubles, my first love walks in and all of the feeling I thought had diminished came racing back to me in a heart beat. I still love him like the day I fell for him. A week later and we're talking daily and after a drunken evening he comes over and we had sex. I didn't care at the time because I'm so angry with my fiance. But now I see that I've done something so awful and I'm so angry at myself. I don't know what to do. I love them both very much, I have never been in a predicament like this.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2015):

You need to drop both relationships because you have poisoned both of them. Your F will find out sooner or later. As long as you keep it from him, you have a fake relationship. If you tell him, he will be upset and never trust you again. Trust without love, ain't love. Really, you've really got nothing except to leave all of this behind you and begin another relationship.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2015):

You drop contact with the first love. Saybgoodby and never, answer any calls, messages, emails. Anything. Burn any letters without opening them. Delete his emails without reading them. Block his address.

If you wish to remain friends with his mother, so be it, but never go to her house and meet only at yours or in public.

Then confess what happened to your fiance because you already made the decision to risk what you had. Now the decision of forgiveness and if he can find it within himself to give you both a chance to work through the terrible thing you did... is his and his alone now. You cannot make it for him.

If you both love each other enough, you will find a way to get through it. But it is going to take a lot of patience and hard work and emotional strength and forgiveness for the both of you.

But lose the jackass who would willingly get involved with someone who has a kid and is getting married.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2015):

I totally understand and I am in the same position as you. You need to step back and see who the better man is. In the ideal world you want to be with the father of your child. You ex will always have a little resentment that you had another man's child and may not even accept him/her.

On the other hand he may accept the child but then you may cause damage between the relationship between the child and the father.

Lots to think about.

I was about to break off with my child's father then I realised that I would lose his support. I too have lots to think about. Good Luck.

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