A
female
age
30-35,
*icegirl19
writes:I am in a relationship for 2 years and i cheated on my boyfriend.I slept with someone else and i did it thrice.He is an angel and he has accepted me.I confessed my mistake to him and now i want to be very nice and want to love him from all my heart.The thing that was wrong in our relationship was that it was fake from my side even though i never accepted it myself or never made anyone realise it.The reason i went out with this other guy was because he appreciated me and i got more attention from him.I knew that i was doing wrong and really had stopped.I just told my guy the complete truth.I made him cry.He is like no other guy.But i did wrong to him.i cannot walk away from him because he doesnt want to let me go.My friends know about this and i have absolutly noone who is in my favour and i myself dont see why should anyone support me.People have told my guy to leave me but he doesnt want to.He loves me dearly.He wants to marry me and wants me to be nice.my question is this:I accept my mistake and i am ready to face any situation to see him happy.How do i change myself?how do i get the sluttiness out of my system?how do i become exceptionally pretty from both inside and outside?how do i give someone alot of love at the same time dont make it artificial.?How do i make him forget???????????????????i really love him.it sounds weird but i cannot live without him.I honestly dont know why i did those things.i am still a virgin and i am saying this with complete honesty,but apart from losing my virginity i was physical with someone else.I want things to be normal in my life and i want him to be happy.can anybody please tell meHow do i become nice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): Honestly you are selfish; that is what cheating is all about / to boost that ego – but you know how you feel after!!! Don’t keep someone that is a real good person in this deception…In the end you will have no one that cares about you. Pleasure is a momentary feeling; respect and truth is a whole different ball game = called commitment… If you just want to have fun – just let that person go. Because if you keep using him, you will really feel guilty?I wish you all the best…
A
female
reader, nicegirl19 +, writes (29 May 2009):
nicegirl19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for replying.it is helping me in sorting out the mess i have created.
please pray for me.
i cannot let go of my bf coz even after all that i have done he is really the only one i can feel myself with.i mean even if i am with someone else i can never tell him the complete truth about me and that way i will be destroying another life.it will all be a pretense again.
i totally want to devote myself to him and if he reads this i want him to know that one day i will make myself worthy of him.i promise.i love him.
thank u all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): How do you become nice to a guy who treats you like a queen? Changing your perspective of him is the only way to save this. Learning to appreciate him? respect him?
Listen, plainly...you were craving attention from men. That was all about pure ego. Cheating is just short term pleasure. Pleasure is self-involved. Happiness is other-involved. As a result, I am thinking you had lost the value system that enabled you to judge your own bad behaviours vs good behaviours. You also have no understanding for the deep meaningfulness of a committment, nor did you have the strength to resist temptation. Well, when I hear people say 'I don't know why I cheated' I would say 'of course you know'. Basically, self-indulgency and a lack of values, heads the top of the list. Think about it. You simply had this huge lack of respect for the committment to your bf thus causing this empty 'disconnect' in your head and you boinked another guy, with little regard for your bf's feelings or thought of the pain it would cause him. How sad. So to me, cheating is a conscious, delibrate choice and it always was and that choice, is a lack of control over one's actions.
Honoring commitment to a loved one, in the first place, and never allowing infidelity to occur, is a test of one loyalty and devotion. You didn't pass this test, hun.
You have 2 choices. Get out there as a single girl...have a blast...do what you want, but allow this bf of yours to move on and find someone he deserves. Or if you can't do that, then get some couple counseling to help you learn new coping skills so as not to cheat on this great guy. It will take learning, growing and becoming mature to gaining a new perspective to the the precious value of your bf's love. He's been hurt and will want to trust you, again. And you will need to rebuild the trust back. It will be a long term process. Hope you can do it, girl. I wish you both the best of luck and take care.
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (27 May 2009):
 I have my doubts that you really want to be with him. I think you are only staying with him on the sole reason because he wants to be with you. You should not stay in a relationship just because the other person wants to be with you. You should be in a relationship because both parties want to be with each other. You are not doing this relationship any good by pretending to want to be with him, just to not let him down.
You need to decide if you really want to be with him, if not then you need to leave.
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