I cheated, he cheated and now he's STILL cheating!

A female age 41-50, *ik79 writes:

I have been Married for 7 years. We have not really had any problems until last year when I cheated first. I was drunk and my emotions and curiosity got the best of me. At the time my husband was away on a job and wasn't due back for months. What I did was a one night stand and I told him via email immediatly afterward, like the next day. While he was away he was so upset he found a girlfriend. The had been intimate numerous times while he was away. When he came back home he continued to talk to this woman for about 3 months to my knowledge. He did not tell me he slept with another woman I found all this out by checking his email accounts and our phone bill. On the phone bill he racked up a hefty 300 dollar bill with text messaging, at the time neither of us had free texting. What got me is the pay per use was like 20 cents per text. So 300 dollars! I went ballistic. Then I found out that he slept with another girl here in our area. The same thing was going on emailing and texting along with phone conversations to both women. I immediatly felt bad about my situation and came clean and have been ever since. We agreed to work on our marraige, but a womans intuition is no joke. I would have dreams of him cheating, and I just felt like something wasn't right with us. So I snooped again. Checking all emails phone bills, oh yeah I blocked the first chicks number from our line because I didnt want them talking around me. And I made him delete her number out his phone. This was about 2-3 months after he came back. So anyway I found some more emails dating back 2 yrs ago with him flirting with women. I have seen naked pictures of women, details about sexual encounters, pictures of him with these women and called him out on it. he said that he was sorry and he was going to stop. everything was good for about 6 months. I was not checking and we were on the up and up. Then I have another dream. This was about a week ago. so I go into yet another email adress that he hid from me and thought I didnt know about. This is where I found him getting back in contact with the first female he spent time with while he was away. She sent him a picture of herself in a red nightie and he said he liked it, and to send some more. Then he ends the conversation with I miss my boo boo. this account was there communication line. it only contained emails between the 2 of them. So i printed it out and showed him the email and he says its nothing like always he said he was just trying to get into her head. Now he says he's sorry AGAIN and he will do better. He said if I give him another chance it will not be in vain. I am stuck because I love my husband and he is a good man, just this bad flirtatious bone in his body I want to break and smash and bury. What do I do? Oh yeah he has an email at work that I have no access to and Im scared hes doing the same thing at work. After this last incidient I emailed his mistress and told her she can have him. Im done with his foolish ways. She told me she didnt want him and if she did he would have left me and went to be with her. Although we are in 2 different states I still feel thereatend by this whole situation. But like I said he told me he was going to change. WHat do I do? Stay or leave.... and yes we have 2 young children together.

View related questions: at work, drunk, flirt, mistress, nude pictures, one night stand, text

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A female reader, Nik79  +, writes (23 October 2009):

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