A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 5+yrs to Mr.Right.For some reasons though we were very compatible in every way, we were not happy in sex.3 years passed with busy life,sex was not very important between us.Later for no reason i started getting attracted to a man,i was so involved with him,had great sex, was with him for about 2 years but i was never sure that i can marry him.Am also in a denial that we could work out together.My husband knows that i went around with a guy,he forgave and told me to start new with him.Problem now is i cant forget my boyfriend and cant take that hes getting ready to see some other girl.I Know that my husband is right for me but the reason that i was never treated well by my boyfriend is killing me.I feel he used me when he wanted fun and took advantage of my situation.When i told my boyfriend that i cant marry him he just wants to ignore me. doesnt treat me right from then on,as such he never treated me good when i was with him,now i cant take the pain because i loved him so much than anything.I gave him everything he wanted and i could.Now when he has to marry hes not giving us time to split.He just wants to walk away.Trying to get engaged with a girl.Why is he keeping this pressure on me?.Whats wrong with me when i know hes not right for me?.Why i cant sleep everyday thinking hes going to be with some other girl.I dont feel the same way or this possesive if it was my husband.I should have felt ok if my husband was with some other woman for a while and got back with me.Am in a mess with relationships.Not serious about them and so today is a problem.I have not taken my marriage seriously.I feel wrecked about myself.Am in a deep mess for what ive done something terrible.I havent realised while i was doing it.I always wanted my boyfriend to treat me right,initially i was fine him getting married to someone,i wanted it to be mutual(separation).Whenever i told this he never agreed.He said lets talk about it later.when the time was right for him,he just wants to dump me.I dont feel good at all.I feel whenever he wanted sex and fun he was good.When it has to get over for some other girl,he doesnt care a bit for me.I feel torn,i gave him so much importance,put my parents, husband aside and gave him lots of time and energy.In the end, i feel humiliated.Please suggest me what to do.And how to get over such a thing which is very difficult.One day i feel like talking to him other day i dont evn want to be friends with him.I call him and irriate him,not helping each other.I wanted him to be soothing and help me out by being nice.He wouldnt do that.All he wants is to treat me like shit.Still am going behind him where i very well know its f no use.But the pain atrocious,Please help me.Suggest the best please
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (9 June 2014):
 Trust me on this one. Concentrate on your marriage. You are partly to blame on the poor marriage because you are not giving 100 percent. If you cant try with your husband, then let him go. But marriages can be wonderful over time if you are prepared to make sacrifices. This man has come between you, he doesn't treat you right forget the other guy it will never ever work, you just want what you cant get now. Think of all the things you liked about your husband when you married him and take it back to that point and start again. he is still in there somewhere. Good Luck
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (9 June 2014):
 I think you've described that you have a very cavlier, and immature approach to such an important subject as love/life/sex/and relationships. You write as if your marriage is sort of a "ho-hum" arrangement.... and not something that is sufficiently precious that you have to take it seriously. .... and this "situation" with a second man.... you sound like it's sort of out kissing behind the tool-shed, and not AT ALL a betrayal of your "marriage."
Take a weekend away..... from Hubby AND "boyfriend". Maybe a "girls' weekend" with a good bud. OR, away from EVERYBODY. Sit yourself down and address your, "....Am in a mess with relationships.Not serious about them...."
You really need to learn about THAT before you can even begin to address what is going on amongst you, Hubby and "boyfriend." You are going to have to become adult.
Good luck...
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