A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HiI broke up with my guy of 7 years because he looked at porn, joined a sex chat site,and chatted to girson aol aswell ascreating a myspace profile, notmentioning me and tatus single.All this happened over a month when we had a row and we were apart.Theres obv alotmoreto this.Butall i want to know is,should we try again?He wants me back,and is sorry,hed never seen porn (he was 25 and a virgin whenwe met) and wanted a look (so he says),we are eachothers 1st love, and he wants marriage, ect.I dont know what to do.Iwish this wasnt why we brokeup,i cant get over it,even whwn imwatching a movie now, i dont findporn funny,instead i hurt.Please help, do i need toforgive ? or didi do the right thingand leave ?i mean, i feel every1 is a threat to me.I dont wantto throw away what could be a fantastic life.any advice ?
View related questions:
broke up, myspace, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, prettykitty  +, writes (8 January 2008):
Hi there i am in the same vote as you are, my bf looks at porn and he knows i hate it, we have fought over this and i have threatened to leave. He did it again over xmas when i was away visiting family. I got back to discover he had broken that trust again.
We are great in bed and anything goes, im prob more sexual than most women so thats not an excuse he can use.
I myself get very insecure now and am trying to decide whether to leave.
Why should something like this ruin relationships, why do some men have to be so inconsiderate to our feelings.
If you have spoken to him about how it makes you feel and he knows where you stand then you probably need to really ask yourself do you trust him, will you trust him and can you keep on going on always wondering if he is doing it when your not there.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): Did he know that porn bothers you? If so, he disrespected you. Being active in a sex chat site behind your partners back is a form of infidelity, and not mentioning your existance on myspace after being together 7 years shows a huge lack of respect as well. Perhaps you need to communicate with him a bit more about this, let him know what your boundaries are and exactly what you will tolerate. Never compromise your beliefs, but make sure he's getting his needs met as well. It seems to me that the problem may be beyond what is on the surface. You deserve respect in your relationship, and not all men want porn and cybersex, so don't condone it to save your relationship as your feelings are unlikely to change soon.
...............................
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (3 January 2008):
 Ok online we can be who we want say what we want and not have to worry about what happens because its NOT REAL its a fantasy online people create alternate personalities (not all people).Men watch porn its just what some men do you have to accept it, if you think he will do it again be part of it chat to the women (you never know could do wonders with your sex life).
Its when he keeps things secret you should worry when he lies about things and hides thing then its time to move on and let him go. Ask yourself whether you trust him not to cheat thats the main question
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): Well - I bet 99.9% of men have watched porn. Inquisitive, and creatures that are actually turned on by visuals perhaps moreso than physicals men WILL watch porn. I dont think it means anything.
Unfortunately - now its 'In our face' way way much more than it was 10, 20 and 30 years or more ago. Still even that long ago - men would watch porn - probably milder than today but that's just how things have changed.
If you have OTHER issues - they ar eprobably more important than your guy watching porn.
...............................
|
