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I can't win! What do I do with him?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 April 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2009)
A female Nigeria age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi, what do I do with him, he said I was too slim and that he doesn't like me that way, so I should add some weight, now I am a little bit fat and he complains I am too fat. What do I do with him?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009):

Are you undergoing dramatic changes that are clearly visible? Like being "too skinny" at 100 pounds and then getting "too fat" at 140? If you're just moving around by 5 or 10 pounds then he needs to shut up and get a grip.

I think partners have a right to complain when they begin dating a person who looks one way, and then the person changes into someone very different looking and it's not just normal aging or childbirth. But minor or natural changes shouldn't be drawing criticism if you're not asking for feedback.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009):

You should stop doing what he is telling you do with your own wait. You should tell him that you love him and that if he loves you, he will look past his incredibly picky weight preference and make you feel good about yourself for your personality and who you are and how you make him feel. You should tell him you will be whatever weight you feel comfortable being and if he loves you and you are worth anything more than eye candy to him, that he will continue to be just as caring and loving and stop focusing so much on your outter appearence. You should ask him what he would feel like if you did this to him.. And then you should ask him what beauty he sees in you.. just to make yourself feel a little better.

And if he continues to be like this for a long time, and makes you feel bad about yourself and as if you are never good enough to appealing to him or beautiful, then you should find someone who will.

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A male reader, MyDestiny United States +, writes (25 April 2009):

MyDestiny agony aunt you shouldnt have to change who you are for anyone...especially if you love them, and if he loved you, he wouldn't care what you looked like

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