A
female
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anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have finally found someone to join us in a threesome. I just can't wait to see him with another woman! Am I crazy? He thinks it's going to break us up and won't do it if it will. Am I mental for wanting to do this? Help!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2007): I think you should indulge yourself, never mind his feelings and hopefully he will find he prefers her to you. This apparently happens quite often. They may start to ignore you as they start enjoying the incredible sex, perhaps you will be left alone watching on the side of the bed. Perhaps they will have much bigger orgasms together than he every did with you. I know you can't wait to see that, so fine. Apologies for the sarcasm but selfish people like you who use other people and blackmail them into doing things they don't want usually get what they deserve and I hope he finds someone more worthy of him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007): So basically you are using this guy for your own sexual gratification??? Your're really going to screw him up with your attitude. If all your looking for is a bit of fun, then dump your boyfriend gracefully, don't put him through this trauma. There are plenty of people/websites out there specifically for this purpose, no strings attached sex, threesomes/ groups/ bi whatever honey. My ex who I loved dearly had a former girlfriend like you, played around with threesomes and she ended going off in a relationship with another women. He loved her and it gutted him and had a real detrimental affect on our relationship, I don't think he will ever trust another woman again. Which is a real shame cos he was a really nice guy whose feelings were abused by someone like you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the answers. I know he cares about me but I don't love him and don't think we'll be together forever. I'm going to go ahead and take this experience for all it is: a bit of fun and whatever happens between us after that, happens.
Thanks again
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007): me and my partner once had a threesome with another woman,she gave us our fantasy turn reality,she gave me oral while my partner kissed and caressed my body,it werent what we`d imagined quite crap really,and we are still together and were just fine
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007): I don't know you nor do I have a clear picture of your confidence level. I don't know if this some proposalof yours is sincere...or you are just curious. First and foremost, he has some hesitation..some misgivings. Take that as a indicator that he's not into multiple partnering and maybe he knows something about you, that you are not seeing here. And...if you haven't never seen him 'with' a another woman, before there are some things to consider.
Just a few words of caution. The things you should consider first are: Depending on your level of self esteem and trust in your bf, threesomes can make one of a person feel threatened. Fulfilling certain fantasies by bringing other people into your private sex life is another way of making things interesting and fun-but unfortunately, threesomes can be risky. Sex between two people in love, is an deep, private, meaningful adventure as well as a physically satisfying event. Involving other people in your very sex life can be an emotionally charged experiment that could backfire, bigtime! Sometimes, one partner (your bf) could become a little more involved or enthusiastic thus causing you some stress. Jealousy and insecurities can wreak havoc on your relationship. You have to be very,very secure in your partner's attraction to you, because seeing him attracted to and turned on by another person could be devastating. Similarly, the opportunity to see your bf having sex with someone else, may not be as much of a turn on if you are insecure about your own body or sexual technique and can't help but compare yourself unfavourably with others. Your self esteem would need to be able to cope with the constant possibility of rejection.
For some people, this is just a part of the adventuresome perspective they have on sex and the relationship may not suffer at all and may actually be strengthened. For some couples this sort of activity occurs as a way to satisfy the bisexual orientation of one of the partners in the relationship. For some, it is a one-time experiment and for others it is a lifestyle (swinging). But for any experimentations involving other people in your sex life, it will only succeed if the couple usually has a fairly strong commitment to each other.
Just some things to think about. Talk openly and honestly with your bf and the other person you want in this threesome and lay all your cards on the table. If he does agree, make sure you all practise safe sex. But most of all...make absolutely sure "HE" wants to do this. If he is having any doubts whatsoever...don't do it! Respect what he tells you. Don't push it. It could mess up your relationship and you'll have some huge regrets
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007): What if he decides she's better in bed than you are? What if he ends up fancying her more than you...and ends up sleeping with her when you're not around?? I think its a recipe for disaster myself, especially if you're supposedly in a loving caring relationship. I reckon someone's going to get hurt, could be you, him or the other girl.
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (14 May 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
I don't think you're "mental" for wanting to do this, but I do think you're being rather pushy. Your boyfriend obviously has reservations about doing this and has told you he doesn't think it's a good idea. Please respect what he says and don't try to convince him otherwise. If the tables were turned and he was trying to get you to do sexual things that you didn't feel comfortable with, how would you feel?
Take care.
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A
female
reader, gf123 +, writes (14 May 2007):
 Hi there,
I don't think you're crazy, lots of people have fantasies about seeing their partner with another man/ woman. I would however, urge you to be very cautious. Fantasy and reality are two very different things.
Your boyfriend is probably worried that you will feel jealous, and this is a possibility even if you don't think so now. He won't want you to keep bringing this up in future arguments and it might make you very insecure. There are many stories about people going into these situations with much excitement and ending up confused and hurt.
Perhaps your partner is also uncomfortable with the idea and is trying to tell you without hurting your feelings.
Good luck
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