A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 8 months, and I had been fighting a lot, I got fed up with him over a situation, and told him our future seems foggy, and told him how miserable I had been feeling, and he retaliated with saying he needed to take a break.Well, we have been on a "break" for a month now! He said he doesn't know what he wants, we both agreed that it has been the best 8 months of our lives together, but he still doesn't know what he wants. I finally told him he had to leave, I dont want to know what he is doing or see him, and he had to leave end of the month. Well that is in a few days, if he was serious he should have left last weekend, I told him he had to leave by next weekend since he had not packed. He agreed. When I asked him when he would be leaving, he said, "I'll leave when I want to". He said, you put up with me for a month, what's a few more weeks. And he's like, we're roommates.I told him he has to leave, I need to move on with my life. I love him, but I cant wait for him forever for him to figure out what he wants. He keeps saying, things come in in relationships that change. I asked, what changed? He said we are great together, but we can't live together... Then why wont he leave!!??!! He has been coming home every night, it's so uncomfortable that we sleep in the same bed. All he has are clothes and a few miscellaneous items, 2 chairs, but that's it, its NOT a big move. He also has a place to go to, his parents. He was there when we met. I mean he was the one who wanted to move in, the one who wanted a break. I want it to work out but he can't really figure out what he wants while we are living together? I think he seems like he can. He said he just wants space, but we are broken up. We have stopped all forms of intimacy, obviously he wants more but I wont allow it. I don't want things to get drastic, like involve the police, or the landlord, or his family (I adore his family).
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 October 2012):
 Then you need to sit him down and be serious. Give him a date to figure out what HE wants (and honestly YOU need to decide if this really is the guy for you or not as well)
By that date, if he (and you) don't say ok lets work this out, then I suggest YOU pack his stuff and change the locks. If he wants his stuff he can call you and you can put it outside for him.
It seems to me that he is taking you wanting to be with him for granted and that if he doesn't want the relationship he can just stay and do as he pleases. If the lease is in your name and ditto for the utilities, you can put him out whenever you want to.
Honestly, you should have told him when he wanted the break that he would need to move out. A break means a break, not going from GF/BF to room-mates.
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